As subtly as a drunk girl can, I manoeuvre myself towards Louise, away from Willo, so that Plum is unable to leave the drawing room without walking through the vomit. I move back just in time to allow Buffy to find a puke-free path.

Willo is still a very pale shade of grey. He looks up at me from the floor, very slowly. Oh, I hope he’s not going to be sick again. ‘Well done. I’ve been waiting…urghhh, sorry…waiting for someone to tell Plum off for years. I’m Willo—William.’ Raising himself up on an elbow, he offers me a hand. Instinctively, I reach for it, and then decline just in time. I am sobering up by the second. ‘Sorry, I think you’re still a bit—maybe a shower, or a bath would help? Louise, do you have a bath?’

She laughs. ‘Of course! Who doesn’t have a bath? That’s like not having a downstairs loo.’ I let it go. ‘Right, Willo, do you think you can face a bath? Louise, if you can run it, maybe, I’ll clear up here.’

‘Me and the chaps will give you a hand, if you like. Sorry, we didn’t—I’m Tristan, this is Hugo, that’s Benners.’ I have never seen two more identical looking men than Hugo and Benners. They are both in quilted black leather jackets, and black jeans. They are wearing a collection of silver necklaces, and black desert boots. They both have blond hair, coaxed into a quiff, reminding me a tiny bit of Tintin, and a lot of an old fashioned meringue. Benners is maybe half an inch taller—I could think of him as Big Benners? I’ll never be able to tell the difference, I’ll just have to call them both ‘you!’ and smile a lot. Is there a way I can get one of them to put on a hat?

Tristan is much easier to tell apart—good—because he is wearing red trousers—bad.

‘I’m Imogen, I work with Louise. This is the first time I’ve been to her house, so I’m not sure where she keeps her cleaning stuff. I assume under the sink?’

In under ten minutes, Tristan has sourced rubber gloves for all. ‘The great thing about this happening at Louise’s is that she has a metric tonne of baking soda on hand at any given moment. Benners, don’t forget the baking soda! You need to make sure all the puke is cleaned up before you sprinkle it on; if you can’t find any newspaper just use a kitchen towel. We just need to limit the damage before it goes to the cleaners.’ He smiles. ‘Benners is an expert at sick. He’s usually the puker.’