Fine, fine. ‘I’m just going to lie down and close my eyes for a second…’

I come to, feeling much better, if slightly disorientated. Where am I? What’s happening? Oh, Sam Strong is at the end of the bed, reading a magazine. I squint at it. Protein, Prada, Power Posing—are you a luxury gym bro? Right. I know exactly where I am. ‘Are you OK?’ Sam asks. ‘You’ve been out for the count for about three hours.’

I yawn. ‘Much better, thank you. I pulled an all-nighter in the office last night.’ Better to put it in language that Sam Strong will understand. ‘Pulled an all-nighter’ sounds much more hardcore and more glamorous than ‘I couldn’t face going home so I made a nest from blankets and bean bags’.

‘You said it wasn’t going well? I’ve been hearing rumours about Hudson. Apparently that American, what’s her name, is making a big investment in the trade titles, so they’re pulling the plug on most of the mags.’

More Sam nonsense, surely. ‘We only just launched, and they’d never close Panache. Anyway, yeah, I’m not sure…it’s really demanding, and fast paced. And it’s a lot of fun, but I just did a piece about Fallen Angels, you know, the sex parties…’

He suddenly seems a little more interested. ‘Ah, tell me more!’

‘Honestly, it wasn’t great. Not that sexy. But Harri made me rewrite it, I had to make it sound sexier than it was, and then I found out that it’s being used to pull in a lot of ad revenue, and I was wondering—please can you tell me, honestly, as a man who has done it—how do I get them to pay me more? I’ve only just started, and I think I’m technically still on probation, I’m not sure that the timing is right to demand more money just yet. But—when? And how?’

Sam Strong is scrolling through his phone. ‘Oi, stop that! I’m asking for some advice.’ I poke him with my toe.

He raises an eyebrow. ‘I can do better than advice. John at The Gentleman was very interested when I told him you were the one who raised the alarm about the robes.’

‘You didn’t tell him I was in your bed, did you?’

‘Of course not!’ He is smirking, and I am not convinced.

‘How does he know about me?’

‘Your media career has been raising some eyebrows. And probably some other things, let’s be real. He sounded very keen to meet you, and he was saying that they’re under some, ah, pressure, to get more women in there and writing. It’s Marker Media, so they’ve got cash. Just think about the pay rise you’d want from Hudson, add ten grand to it, and ask for that.’