I’m panicking. ‘Um, twenty-six.’ Is that the wrong answer? I should have lied! I’ve missed something vital. Am I being hired, or fired? (Once more for the people at the back, says my brain, You can’t get fired if they aren’t paying you.) ‘Um, right, of course. What sort of thoughts?’

‘We’re looking to launch early next year, we’re coming up with a content plan, our key demographic is a woman who is a little younger than the typical Panache reader, 18–34 although we’re focusing on the twenties, obviously…she’s dynamic, ambitious, politically engaged, sexually confident—in fact, that’s where you come in. I really love your blog, and it came up quite a few times when we started our research last year. Your readers are the readers we want.’

My readers? ‘Right! Great!’

Another paradox. I am happy to share my innermost, intimate thoughts and feelings with total strangers, but I baulk at sharing them with Harri.

‘Your tone is perfect, funny, frank, insightful, raw. Exactly what we have in mind.’

‘Thank you.’ I’ve forgotten how to be this person Harri is describing. Panic is making me feel prim, uptight. I find myself momentarily unable to perform the role of funny, frank sex blogger. Scrambling, I try to keep the conversational ball in the air. ‘Do you have a name for it yet?’

Harri shakes her head. ‘That’s always the hardest part. We need something that sounds very sharp and smart, not overly feminine, something about knowledge, being connected…we’re working on it. If you have any thoughts, I’d love to hear them.’

I have no thoughts at all. Not ‘no thoughts about what to call the glamorous new start-up’—just no actual thoughts. ‘Erm, Savvy?’ I say, a little too loudly, and make a face. ‘No, that’s awful. Something about knowledge…power…being in the know…’ Shit. Looking at Harri’s frozen face, I suspect she is seeing my potential drain away faster than she can drink her coffee.

‘In the Know –there’s something there, maybe? Anyway, basically, I wanted to sound you out. Hypothetically, would you be interested in a full time contract for this website? And available to start early in the new year? I’m still working out final details and numbers, so I can’t confirm anything yet.’ Harri shrugs. Just like everyone else I’ve met who is in a position to offer me a life-changing job, she is oddly reluctant to admit whether or not there actually is a job. ‘Anyway, tell me, what are you working on at the moment?’