BooksBarbecue
Back Careering Save as PDF
Chapters (64)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Epilogue
  64. Acknowledgements

‘Shhh! Shut up! Sorry, but shut up.’ Louise has become very flushed. I know she’s upset, because her fringe has separated, and a tuft of hair is pointing at the ceiling. This is how her body responds to professional stress. It tries to signal to potential predators that she is daffy, flaky and not worth attacking.

‘Dude! Are you OK? It’s just some chicken.’

Louise is now puce. Most of her hair is now springing up from her scalp, turning ginger under moonbeams of pink neon. She looks like she’s been forced, reluctantly, to have a go on the Van De Graaff generator on the school trip to the Science Museum. Is she crying?

‘Immo…’ She is crying. It sounds as though she is addressing me as ‘Bumhole’. ‘Immo, I, I, don’t belong here. OK? I can’t do…it. I’m. big…big failure.’

‘Louise…love. It’s OK. You’ll be OK. Let’s get out of here. Let’s get you some air.’

Louise looks panicked, and gestures to the office. ‘Will we get in trouble?’ She sounds so plaintive that my heart breaks. For a moment, I’m back at primary school. Anyway, we won’t get in trouble. Harri is out at a meeting, Kim says he’s at the dentist—but he winked as he said it, which makes me think he may just have taken the afternoon off to hoof nitrous at some sort of day rave. Tabitha is reading her WhatsApp, and all I can see on her computer is a screen filled with Saint Laurent handbags. Even the intern is skiving. She’s supposed to be transcribing an interview but I can hear from here that she is listening to ‘A Whole New World’ from Aladdin. Bloody hell. And we’re the sharpest minds to disrupt new media, apparently.

With a jerk of my chin, I gesture to Tabitha and her scrolling. ‘I reckon we’re fine. Harri can’t tell us not to take a mental health break.’ Louise looks a bit panicky, so I add ‘If you like, I’ll tell her that I started crying over chicken and you took me out for a few deep breaths and a glass of wine.’ Louise is solemn. ‘I don’t think we should have wine.’ So, trying to be as low key as possible, I gather our coats and settle her in the nearest Pret with a hot chocolate and a Love Bar.

‘We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to,’ I say. I might not be able to talk about anything at all, as I’ve just burned my tongue. Luckily with Louise it doesn’t take much to start her off.