Mrs Byrne took an age to pour milk first and add sugar to five sets of cups and saucers. Joe and me weren’t going to get any kind of refreshment either, it seemed. God, she was really stringing it out, the horrible auld bag, hoping someone would break rank and start shouting.

With chinaware to civilise them they started. The good doctor wanted to know if I had been forced? Only he had discussed this with Joseph and Joseph had assured him that he had nothing to do with it? His good wife wanted to know if I was alright, sweetheart? She knew in her heart that Joseph Darling would not tell her a lie, isn’t that so, Dermot Darling? The good priest wanted to know where the daddy was and my mother wanted to know why we all couldn’t admit it was Joe so that we could be married off as soon as possible. My daddy didn’t want to know anything. He kept both his eyeballs glued to the swirly carpet.

It all fell apart when the tea ran out and my mother made a jibe about Mrs Loughrey surely not being able to keep track of her children when she was gadding about in high heels and tights and paint behind the counter at the post office. Joe’s mammy retaliated with details of how she only worked part-time, part-time, which left her ample hours to look after her family and Joseph and how dare my mother insinuate that she had taken her eye off the Catholic mothering ball!

It took the professional men in the room to keep them apart while my father stayed in his seat, a spectator. The parochial house was dripping with poison and Mrs Byrne was as happy as an apple-fed pig. It was Joe who restored peace. He was on his feet and shouting.

–  I NEVER TOUCHED HER, OK? IT WASN’T ME! IT WASN’T ME! I never laid a hand on her, I swear on my life. It wasn’t me.

When he had their attention and finally caught my eye he broke down and cried, a bubble of snot unnoticed at his nose. Mammy would call him a cissy and, may Good Holy God strike me where I sat, I would agree with her as the tears ran down his face. Could he not wait ’til he got home? Instead he stood and let his shoulders heave and we all had to sit and stare at him falling to pieces. When he finally realised that no one could rescue him, not even the Darlings, he turned his misery on me.

–  I’ll never forget what you did! Never! For as long as I live!