The lane down to Johns Farm had never seemed as long but it still took us home. I couldn’t go in at first and sat by Bridie’s roses at the front door. I was officially the woman of the house now and I didn’t want to be.

Ginger jumped on to my knee and looked just as sad as I felt. Not really sure what to do, the children all went to get changed and pretend that we were going to carry on as normal. The boys didn’t come back into the kitchen and nor did Serena but when I did, I noticed that John had taken Bridie’s armchair away. I hunted about and found that he had put it in the corner of her room, the blue roses still in bloom after a decade.

He was getting changed out of his suit: a farmer’s work is never done. He was so still, standing with his bare back to me rolling his tie into a ball, that I couldn’t help but touch him. I put my arms around his waist and laid my cheek against his back. I knew he wouldn’t take it the wrong way. I just reached to below his shoulder blades where his skin felt tender and smooth. He pulled my arms tighter and kissed the tips of my fingers before putting my left hand over his heart and we swayed like that for a little. I heard lovely Bridie’s voice ringing in my ears as if she was still sitting happy as a lark in the kitchen.

–  John’s a good man, y’know, Mary? There’s worse men. Mary? I say, there’s worse men?

–  I know, I know, a lot worse. I could have done a lot worse. Drink your tea, Bridie.

Her cup always did runneth over. I felt my heart open and an ember of light curled towards my husband. I breathed against his skin and wished myself laid along the length of it. If he even looked at the bed I would be there before him. Could he feel the thaw in me without me having to declare it?

He had Bridie’s wedding band in his palm. He rubbed the old gold between his fingers before he reached for my left hand and the light at my heart swelled and fluttered. I held my breath.

Could this be the day we finally met? Could this be the day when what lay between us could be named? I smiled my brightest smile; I couldn’t keep it in. If he’d changed his mind, if he was in the market for a wife, I was ready.

–  Give this to Serena for me, will you? he says. She’s the best granddaughter Bridie could have had.