What none of us could have predicted was the hellishness of the first Twelfth of July after the peace deal. The brand-new Parades Commission banned the Loyalist march down the mainly Catholic Garvaghy Road in Drumcree as it was likely to be contentious. Contentious? Where had they been for the last few decades? As we watched, Drumcree imploded again. Lizzie Magee called us to check that the Irish news was the same as the English news because she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She rang off in tears but said that her and Kenny were still thinking of coming home, one day.

What she could see and what we could see was a battle raging between the Loyalists and the Nationalists on either of the barricades made of steel, concrete and barbed wire. It had only taken three months for violence, threats of execution, roadblocks, attacks on security forces and Catholic homes, gunfire, blast bombs and plastic bullets to be back in the headlines. So this was peace? It’s only sixty miles away, Mammy, says Eugene, and we all hold still a minute in case we can hear Saracens coming on the river but the mighty Cloon was silent. We thought it couldn’t get much worse and then it did.

Three little boys, three Catholic brothers, died in a fire when their home was petrol-bombed by Loyalists. Bridie slammed her rosary beads back in the drawer before she went outside for a cry. Marius went after her to tell her the lie that it would be alright, that it would get better one day. What kind of God lets things like this happen, Dada? Serena managed as the tears tripped down her face. John had nothing to say because he would never lie to the waynes.

John followed me from bed to bed that night as we kissed and kissed our precious boys and our precious girl. We were so blessed, so very lucky. Without a word we ran back to the bedroom. His skin was so cool it burned me. Just as I was about to cry out he silenced me with his lips and I latched on to him, back in the fold at last! We made love for what seemed like hours but still we lay wide-eyed side by side, staring at the eaves. The windows were open and the blackbirds picked out their bright song and every time the breeze threatened to cool us too much, he reached for me or I reached for him.