I was amazed by the space when we cleared out all the tools and the dustsheets; the pink skimmed walls with not a bump were the most beautiful things I’d ever seen. He had been so clever, sketching what he wanted before getting an architect to draw up the plans, and he and his pals had built a palace. I bought Serena’s school uniform the same day we piled twenty cans of white emulsion into the boot of the car.

I painted the walls downstairs late into the nights. John was painting the whole upstairs but he had caved in to Bridie who had begged for a bit of auld flowery wallpaper. She couldn’t look at all that white: she’d think she was locked in the Tyrone Fermanagh! She had gone straight to the rolls of dainty blue roses climbing on delicate green stalks when she was let loose in McGoran’s hardware place.

I had to help him line up the slim stems and petals and our hands kept touching, our hips kept touching and our forearms. The fine dark hair on his arms was softer than it looked. My mouth had never been so dry; John kept clearing his throat and exhaling through his lips. It must have been the dust. When the last strip was up we stood back to admire it.

–  Bridie’ll love that!

–  Let’s hope she doesn’t want carpet to match, Mrs Johns!

I wished he wouldn’t smile at me with those teeth and expect me to say something, anything. I wished he’d stop calling me Mrs Johns. I backed away from him and made for the caravan and the last of the few nights I had with my girl before she went to pre-school. Pre-school for pre-cocious, John teases her, and she screams with laughter as if she understands she’s miles ahead of the herd.

Serena took to school like a duck to water. The first day I went to collect her she came out holding hands with a little girl called Nora Reilly and I had to speak to her mammy who was also at the gate. I got the usual look: the ‘oh, you’re Mary Johns, the quare wan who disappeared after disgracing yourself’ look. The look I dreaded. But I kept the ‘I’m just a normal girl picking up her daughter from school’ face on ’til I had walked to the top of the town. I hoped to God no one could see or hear my heart flailing about.

Because it was her first day, John was picking us up in the car and we were having fish and chips from the takeaway for tea. Serena found shyness at last as the waves of loving attention washed over her. It was John’s neck she hid her face in. He squeezed her tight and covered her ears with kisses ’til she had time to recover.