The seasons flew by and the sky stayed put, full of clouds by day and stars by night. My work at Johns Farm was endless and I fell into bed by eight o’clock every night hoping I’d brought in enough water and wood to get us up and going in the morning without having to brave the cold. John let me know my efforts were not going unnoticed by letting me know they were also not quite good enough. Make sure you tie the hill-field gate properly. The chicken coop could do with a clean. Did you not notice that the new Friesian heifer was lame? Are you listening to me, Mary? I nodded and apologised and lifted my daughter out of his arms and carried her away from him to the Lower Room and darkness. The rats took turns to watch my wonderful life from the holes in the ceiling.

But Kathleen called every time she was home and it was through her that I eventually got back in touch with Lizzie Magee. I was eighteen, no phone, no car and no money. The bold Lizzie Magee had a driving licence and was roarin’ about in an old banger that Dessie had fixed up for her before she went off to university and England. She was away to London in September. She caught up with Kathleen in town one day and asked if she could see if I still wanted to see her. Wanted! I would have given an arm and a leg to lay my eyes and ears on Lizzie Magee.

Matthew had never managed to run into her. She’d not had a single reply to several letters. When she phoned The Hill, she’d been told in no uncertain terms by Mammy that she was not wanted. I was a happily married woman now, I didn’t require the company of a silly schoolgirl. She’d be best to not forget that; better still, she was not to dial the number ever again: no messages would be passed on.

Kathleen rolled her eyes when I burst into tears: why hadn’t I just asked her to carry a message? Or why hadn’t I asked Auntie Eileen? The two of them were better bets than Matthew who could hardly speak? Did I have tapioca in my head in place of a brain? I laughed along with her so she wouldn’t see how embarrassed I was. Kathleen had told Lizzie how to find me. She couldn’t get lost as I was at the end of the road.