“I don’t want to take a bath!” Jamie whined. But Brenna, looking up at Iris and Emma, kept her cool.

Julie raised her eyebrows at Grace and me. “She is so into looking like a big girl in front of your big girls. Thank you for that.”

Grace nodded seriously. “It will backfire one day soon, but for now, you’re welcome.”

Julie trudged up to the house carrying Audrey, her two little ducklings following her.

“I miss that stage sometimes,” Grace said.

I nodded my agreement. Merit and Iris had ditched the boogie boards and grabbed two surfboards, a soft-sided small pink one for her and a green longboard for him. They were paddling out side by side. I bet my daughter thought she had won the high school lottery. “I miss it in some ways,” I said. “But I think I’m a better mom at this stage, when she’s more independent.”

“The worries are so much bigger now, though,” Grace said.

I nodded. “I am constantly worried about her safety. Will she get in a car wreck with a friend? Drink at a sleepover? Get kidnapped by a random stranger or raped by someone she trusts…” I trailed off and looked at Grace. “Sorry. That got dark.”

She shook her head. “It’s just reality. Merit on that football field might be the death of me.”

I squeezed her forearm. “At least he’s the quarterback with all those big linemen to protect him.”

What I was really thinking was that Jason Street in Friday Night Lights was the quarterback and that didn’t help. But that was a TV show. “We can’t worry about every little thing,” I said. “Bottom line, we have to teach them everything we can, hope they make good choices, and pray that God will figure out the rest.”

Grace nodded. “This is when I need Troy, you know?”

I squeezed her arm again. “I can only imagine.” I knew that having a son with no father around was complicated. Iris was my person; I was hers. But Merit had so many interests that I knew were probably from his dad, questions that Grace couldn’t answer; male influence was desperately lacking from the mommune.

“I keep thinking that if I’m the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect cook, Troy will somehow intuit that all the way from Tokyo and come to his senses, come back to me.”

It felt like a gut punch, the way her pain was just so raw and on display. “Oh, gosh, Grace. I’m so sorry. I thought you wanted the separation.”