“Right. I’m doing my best.” I shook my head, realizing that this half glass of wine might have gone to my head already. Was I seriously sitting here pouring my heart out to a stranger? After days with no one to really talk to about this, I think it just felt good to have someone listen. So I leaned into it. “I think I’m scared that, if he did do this, I’m going to have to look at my part. Like, was he stealing that money because he thought I needed more?” I had relished our big life, sure. I loved our beautiful house and our fancy decorator and how I could offhandedly say things like, “Wouldn’t it be fun to have a restored Defender Ninety?” and one would magically appear a few days later. I loved planning our dream vacations and working them around Iris’s school schedule and my perfect wardrobe. But all those things sort of evolved as we did.

I sighed.

“Either way, this isn’t your fault,” Grace said.

I took a deep breath. It isn’t my fault. That was a relief, actually. “I went to great lengths to let him know that I loved him for him.” My eyes filled. “And I did. I do. I love him so much. I miss him more than I can even say, and it’s only been a few days.”

I trailed off, and Grace leaned over the island toward me. “What is your favorite memory of Bill?”

I was surprised by the question. But I smiled at what instantly popped into my mind. “Bill is, like, a man, you know? He’s serious and a little stoic and other people find him very intimidating. I knew he’d be a good father in all the ways that checked the boxes. He’d provide, he’d show up, he’d love our child.” I had to take a deep breath to keep the wave of feelings from swamping me. “But I had no idea how great he would be with Iris. I remember when we brought her home from the hospital and it was the first time she had really cried and cried, and I was at my wits’ end. And he put on beach music and danced with her all over the house. She loved it.” I paused, the tears swelling in my throat. “And that kind of became their thing.”

Grace reached out and squeezed my hands. “That’s what you’re going to think of,” she said. “In those moments you don’t think you’re going to survive, that you aren’t sure you can trust the man you loved, that’s what you’re going to remember.” She smiled at me. “You’re going to get through it. I promise you.”

She locked eyes with me, and I knew she understood what I was going through.