I don’t know if it was conscious, but I think that’s why I knew, when Julie was in trouble, when my niece was down and out like I had once been, that I had to take her in. Mina had rescued me; I would rescue Julie. I had spent every day since trying to be like Mina, trying to be there for the kids and adults alike at the mommune, to support them and make them feel like they had someone. And, in a lot of ways, the mommune was my way of re-creating what I loved most about my childhood: the delicious chaos of a huge family. I was never happier than when kids were running through my house, food cooking, music playing, people laughing.

Well, never happier than in moments like these when I jumped to my feet and cheered as Merit snapped the perfect pass to number 44, who ran right into the end zone with it. Touchdown, Marlins! Beside me, Audrey, Brenna, and Jamie stood up and waved their pom-poms in their “mini Marlins” uniforms. These were sold as a fundraiser for the school, and no little girl in Juniper Shores could be without one. That was one of my favorite charitable acts, buying uniforms for little girls who couldn’t afford them so they could live out their cheerleader dreams. I had cheered for this team many moons ago. Sometimes it felt impossible that I wasn’t cheering for them now. Well, in a carwash skirt and crop top, I mean. I would always, always be cheering for them. School events, like church, allowed me to be the happiest, most relaxed version of myself. For a couple of hours, I was that girl under Mina’s protective watch again, not the woman who had lost so much.

Grace and Charlotte were to my left, and Grace shouted, “That’s my boy!” as she and Charlotte high-fived.

Iris and Emma were off in other parts of the stadium with their friends, obviously. They couldn’t possibly be seen with the likes of us. I remembered being that age, only I never had the feeling of mortification over my parents. I only wished that mine were there to embarrass me.

All of a sudden, on the other side of the stadium, much too far away for my sight to be accurate, I spotted a man who looked just like Jeremy. Or, well, what Jeremy would look like eighteen years later, if he had lived. I gasped out loud, and Charlotte looped her arm around mine. “Are you okay?” she murmured.

“Sorry,” I whispered. “I have this thing…” I realized I had never said this out loud to anyone, and now I wondered if I should. I knew how information could become a weapon, even in the hands of people who claimed to love you.

“What thing?” she asked.