Mentally, I kicked myself for ever quitting my job. I had only myself to blame for this situation. Then again, I wouldn’t trade one single second of being home with Iris. And also, what about love? What about trusting a man who swore he only wanted to take care of you? Shouldn’t a woman be able to put her faith in that?

I followed Alice through the house and onto the front porch, where oversized rockers swayed in the wind. As we sat, looking out over a clear blue pool and onto the ocean, I was green with envy. Not over the house, per se, although it was very beautiful, but that Alice had a home of her own. When would that happen for Iris and me again? The things that, only a few days ago, I had taken for granted were astonishing.

“This house looks like you,” I said. “Earthy and elegant, simple and refined.”

She smiled. “This used to be a bed-and-breakfast. I ran it with my husband. Until he died.”

Having lived here only three years, I had missed out on so many people’s life details, like this.

“I’m so sorry, Alice. What happened?”

I had never even known Alice’s name until today, much less felt the pain she must feel, and here she was driving me around. I suddenly felt guilty. Maybe this was why I hadn’t found my “people” yet. I should be a better friend. A better church participant. A better school volunteer. Although, when would I volunteer now? I’d be working nonstop to try to put a roof over our heads. And who was going to drive Iris to tennis lessons? Oh my gosh. Who was going to pay for tennis lessons? And lawyer’s bills? I was getting ahead of myself. One thing at a time. Job. Money. House. Then we’d worry about tennis lessons. Bill always paid our club dues for the year up front, but I was fairly certain that once you stole money from other members you were kicked out. The board members were probably adding a bylaw right this minute, scratching their heads and saying, Who would have imagined we’d have to create a provision for this?

Alice shook her head and waved me away in a gesture that indicated the death was too painful to even speak about.

“About the time he passed away, my niece Julie’s husband left her with three kids under five and a mortgage she couldn’t pay. So, I asked her to move in here with me.”