His malice had wrapped its insidious tendrils around almost every bit of my life, crept into everything and pulled at it until my very stability was shaken to its foundations. And the worst thing was, I couldn’t help but feel it was all my own stupid fault.

I’d known better than to get involved again when I was so down, so precariously near rock-bottom. I’d ignored my instincts, just refilled my glass time and time again and grasped onto Seb in a drunken haze as a welcome distraction. And I – and this is what I struggled with most – I’d found him very attractive and utterly convincing.

‘How could he have loved me?’ I mumbled. ‘He hated me so much.’

Fay looked out at the darkening sky. A flurry of raindrops hit the window in a sudden squall. ‘You know, right at the end I managed to get him to counselling. The therapist warned me he might be suffering from some kind of disorder – that he had a mother fixation – and she thought he needed proper help. But he refused to go back. I wish now – I should have insisted.’

‘It was his responsibility, Fay,’ I said quietly. ‘Not yours.’

We sat in silence for a while, both of us caught up in our own thoughts of this man who’d gone so mad. Eventually there was a gentle knock and a pink-cheeked Jenny popped her damp head round the door.

‘We’re back,’ she said cheerfully. ‘I could eat a horse! All those hills. Need anything, girls?’

‘I’d better go, actually,’ Fay said, standing. ‘I’ve got to get back to London tonight.’

For a moment we gazed at each other. I stuck my hand out to shake hers, and then she bent to kiss my cheek, and on impulse I threw my arms around her neck.

‘Thanks so much, Fay,’ I muttered into the side of her head, my mouth muffled by her curls – and I meant it with sincerity. ‘I owe you – well, I just owe you, don’t I?’

‘Don’t be silly. You’d have done the same.’

Would I?

Fay stepped out of my embrace with a beatific smile, and buttoned her coat. ‘That’s what friends are for. Keep in touch, okay?’

I think we both knew I wouldn’t. She moved toward the door.

‘Fay –’ My voice sounded like it was stretched over cheese-wire, but I had to know.

She turned, her hand poised to open the door.

‘So in the end,’ I said as diffidently as I could manage, ‘there’s a strange symmetry to it all, isn’t there?’

‘What do you mean?’ Her brow wrinkled delicately under her dark fringe.

‘Well, me and mad Seb. You and – you and Alex.’

Fay stared at me. ‘What do you mean, me and Alex? You’ve got it all wrong, Maggie. Honestly, you really are quite silly. It’s you he wants, not me.’

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Seven