BooksBarbecue
Back Bad Friends Save as PDF
Chapters (59)
  1. Bad Friends
  2. Copyright
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. AFTER: DECEMBER
  6. BEFORE: JUNE
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Chapter Fourteen
  21. Chapter Fifteen
  22. Chapter Sixteen
  23. Chapter Seventeen
  24. Chapter Eighteen
  25. Chapter Nineteen
  26. Chapter Twenty
  27. Chapter Twenty-One
  28. Chapter Twenty-Two
  29. Chapter Twenty-Three
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Chapter Thirty
  37. Chapter Thirty-One
  38. Chapter Thirty-Two
  39. Chapter Thirty-Three
  40. Chapter Thirty-Four
  41. Chapter Thirty-Five
  42. Chapter Thirty-Six
  43. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  44. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  45. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  46. Chapter Forty
  47. Chapter Forty-One
  48. Chapter Forty-Two
  49. Chapter Forty-Three
  50. Chapter Forty-Four
  51. Chapter Forty-Five
  52. Chapter Forty-Six
  53. Chapter Forty-Seven
  54. Chapter Forty-Eight
  55. A CONVERSATION WITH CLAIRE SEEBER
  56. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  57. About the Author
  58. By the same author:
  59. About the Publisher

‘I don’t want to date him. He’s very damaged, Maggie.’

‘You’re telling me.’

‘He’s still in love with you, I think.’

We gazed at one another.

‘Really?’ I said quietly, after some time.

‘Yes, really. You know, I don’t understand why you’re quite so angry.’

‘Don’t you?’ But I felt the fury ebb away now, wash up on the beach of my exhaustion like dirty old spume. I watched a middle-aged couple go through the doors, the drizzle that had just begun outside glittering on the woman’s cashmere scarf. Her companion was very attentive, taking her coat and carefully pressing it on the waiter before pulling out her chair and seating her like she was made of china.

‘I just feel so – well, kind of cornered right now,’ I said. ‘And very alone. And I probably need to be alone, to sort things out.’

‘You probably need some friends, you mean,’ Fay corrected me pertly.

‘I don’t. Not any new ones. Not right now. I’d only make bad friends, the state of mind I’m in.’

Fay stirred her drink with an efficient cocktail stick. ‘Fine.’ She licked the stick thoughtfully. ‘But if you change your mind, I’m here for you. You know that, don’t you? You changed my life.’

I looked out at the neon words above the Royal Court Theatre, at the hustle of people plunging into Sloane Square tube beneath the fizz of the Christmas lights, at the throng at the bar chattering like birds. Everyone was meeting someone; everyone was heading somewhere. Christmas parties were on the horizon, the buzz that December brings was vibrant in the air. There was no more lonely a time than this, I thought sadly. No time when it was more poignant to be lonely. Were they all wanted, all these strangers? Were they all welcomed?

I shook my head against my maudlin thoughts and dug some money from my bag. ‘Listen, can you settle up? I’ve got a long drive ahead of me, I should get going.’

‘Sure.’ Fay tried to give me back the ten-pound note, but I wouldn’t take it. ‘Off anywhere nice?’

I smiled at her wanly and stood. ‘I think so. I’ll see you around, okay?’

For a moment when I walked away, I thought she called something, but her voice was dragged into the busy night. I didn’t look back.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Did ghosts patrol this part of the road, the road I stood beside at midnight? Did they congregate here on the M4’s hard shoulder, swapping stories of their deaths in this freezing darkness?