The sea rolled in and the sea rolled out again. I gazed at the water that changed colour every day, its unbroken surface belying the treacherous rocks beneath it. When I couldn’t sleep I watched the fishing boats bobbing out before dawn past the harbour wall on a good day; the craggy hillside opposite like some pagan god had whacked out his fury there. I watched the locals off for a pint at the pink-painted pub on Fore Street, the few holiday-makers in cagoules and wellies tramping down to get their fresh fish, or struggling with flapping ordnance survey maps that were welded to their bodies in the wind.

When my father had to get back to work in London, Jenny took some time off and stayed with me – and for that I was truly grateful. I didn’t want to see anyone else now; I wanted to hide. But when Bel rang from Australia, I was happy to hear her voice.

‘I knew he was no good, the bloody bastard. The handsome ones never are. I did say that, Mag, I’m sure I did.’

‘Did you?’ I asked wearily. ‘I must have missed that bit.’ I caught sight of my colourless face, the cut on my forehead stitched and covered still with a large plaster. ‘I could use some of your magic, Bel, I must say. I look like the living dead.’

‘You need some sun, my girl. Look, Maggie, I know it’s awful, what you’ve been through, but you’ve got to forget Sebastian now. Come out here – we’ll look after you.’

‘I’d love to, Bel, if it wasn’t so bloody far away.’

‘Sydney’s amazing,’ she ignored me, ‘we’ve got a huge apartment right on the bay, and there’s loads of work for bods like you. The TV’s atrocious here. They’re crying out for your experience.’

Beneath the window a young couple tugged a sturdy black Labrador behind them, their little girl in a pink sou’wester fighting to keep her hat on in the December wind.

‘How’s Hannah?’ I changed the subject, doodling on the pad by the phone. ‘I really miss her, you know.’ I drew a bucket and spade.

‘She misses you too, darling, but I have to say, she’s loving it. There’s just so much outdoor life here, Mag. The food’s amazing; I’m getting really fat. Actually,’ she went all coy, ‘that’s not the only reason.’

‘You – fat! Pull the other –’ I stopped drawing. ‘Oh my God! Bel – you’re not! Already?’

‘I am! I mean, it’s early days, but please, think about coming.’

‘You need a babysitter, you mean. Oh that’s great news, Bel, congratulations! How fantastic.’ I was delighted for her, really – but I couldn’t deny the tiny acorn of envy deep in my gut, envy for the stability I’d craved for so long. I shoved it down.