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Chapters (59)
  1. Bad Friends
  2. Copyright
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. AFTER: DECEMBER
  6. BEFORE: JUNE
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Chapter Fourteen
  21. Chapter Fifteen
  22. Chapter Sixteen
  23. Chapter Seventeen
  24. Chapter Eighteen
  25. Chapter Nineteen
  26. Chapter Twenty
  27. Chapter Twenty-One
  28. Chapter Twenty-Two
  29. Chapter Twenty-Three
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Chapter Thirty
  37. Chapter Thirty-One
  38. Chapter Thirty-Two
  39. Chapter Thirty-Three
  40. Chapter Thirty-Four
  41. Chapter Thirty-Five
  42. Chapter Thirty-Six
  43. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  44. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  45. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  46. Chapter Forty
  47. Chapter Forty-One
  48. Chapter Forty-Two
  49. Chapter Forty-Three
  50. Chapter Forty-Four
  51. Chapter Forty-Five
  52. Chapter Forty-Six
  53. Chapter Forty-Seven
  54. Chapter Forty-Eight
  55. A CONVERSATION WITH CLAIRE SEEBER
  56. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  57. About the Author
  58. By the same author:
  59. About the Publisher

I watched him chasing imaginary shadows and his tail, cutting zig-zags on the lawn, and I was really glad to see him free again. London life didn’t suit the poor old thing. Turning to go back in, I noticed with irritation the fresh tyre-tracks across the frosted grass. I wished the bloody postman wouldn’t always cut across the lawn. At the door I looked for letters, but when I bent to check there was just an old postcard from the gas company about reading the meter last week. I felt a fresh rush of unease, but I shook it off and went to get dressed.

Under a soft chalky sky so rich you could scoop it in your hands, I drove down tiny lanes to Pentire Point. The landscape rolled out before me with the barren majesty of December, sheep like so many balls of dirty cotton-wool dotting the fields. The headland was wreathed in sea-mist that smudged the hills and made them vague, but by the time I parked at the muddy farm it was finally clearing. Frost had hardened some of the ground I tramped across, but in parts the puddles were so deep I had to jump them, splashing through the water, skidding in the mud as brambles pulled at my legs. I trekked up and up the hill until I realised how hungry I was. A sudden surge of birds flapped like hope up into the air and I actually smiled.

‘Lunchtime, eh, Dig?’ I whistled to the dog. Turning back, I could see a figure in a blue anorak heading our way, distant, on the other side of the cliff. Otherwise it was deserted, Digby barking occasionally as the birds swooped and veered above us before sweeping off. The silence was immense, and for the first time in days I felt at peace.

The figure in the blue anorak had disappeared. Digby and I were alone in the world apart from minuscule brown cows clinging to the chequered hillside in the distance. I reached the point where the track narrowed, fringed by a vertiginous drop to the frothing sea – and suddenly the man was there, on the narrow path in front of me, and I nearly screamed in shock because he’d come from nowhere.

‘God, sorry,’ I said, laughing shakily, my hand on my beating heart. ‘That was a bit overdramatic. I just didn’t realise you were so close.’

‘I didn’t mean to scare you.’ His blue hood was tightly drawn around his grey curls like an old pixie. He looked down at Digby darting between our feet. ‘Nice dog. Pedigree, is he? A terrier?’

‘Yes, he’s a Border,’ I said, moving round the man on the path, my tummy a bit squiffy as I tried not to look down at the fierce sea lashing the rocks that were like giant’s stairs below.

His arm shot out and grabbed mine, his anorak crackling with the sudden movement.