Chapters (88)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Dear Reader …
- Also by Robert Muchamore
- PART ONE
- Walter J Freeman Adolescent Mental Health Unit – East Grinstead, UK
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- PART TWO
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- PART THREE
- Walter J. Freeman Adolescent Mental Health Unit – East Grinstead, UK
- THIRTY-NINE
- FORTY
- FORTY-ONE
- FORTY-TWO
- FORTY-THREE
- FORTY-FOUR
- FORTY-FIVE
- FORTY-SIX
- FORTY-SEVEN
- FORTY-EIGHT
- FORTY-NINE
- FIFTY
- FIFTY-ONE
- FIFTY-TWO
- FIFTY-THREE
- FIFTY-FOUR
- PART FOUR
- FIFTY-FIVE
- FIFTY-SIX
- FIFTY-SEVEN
- FIFTY-EIGHT
- FIFTY-NINE
- SIXTY
- SIXTY-ONE
- SIXTY-TWO
- SIXTY-THREE
- SIXTY-FOUR
- SIXTY-FIVE
- SIXTY-SIX
- SIXTY-SEVEN
- SIXTY-EIGHT
- SIXTY-NINE
- SEVENTY
- SEVENTY-ONE
- SEVENTY-TWO
- SEVENTY-THREE
- EPILOGUE
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- Have you read KILLER T?
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
Julius was startled when he turned away from the balcony. Duke had taken off his sodden shorts and polo shirt, leaving tight orange undershorts and his giant hair comically flattened by rain. The bottle on offer was Squadron dark rum.
‘Since we can’t skate …’ Duke said. ‘And to calm my nerves!’
Julius let his friend top his glass with rum but suddenly felt edgy. Duke was smaller but had chest and navel hair. He rarely thought about Duke being two years older, but now it felt important. For all his bulk, Julius’s body remained boyish. He feared Duke would find him unattractive. And while part of Julius wished it hadn’t rained and they’d gone skating, another part was thrilled by Duke’s body and things that might happen in the privacy of the apartment.
‘I’ve never been alone with a guy before,’ Julius said, necking half his rum and Coke for courage.
‘Same,’ Duke said, closing in with a crooked, uneasy smile. ‘I’ve read a zillion web pages though …’
This admission made Julius smile with recognition, remembering trawls for websites that offered upbeat advice for gay teens. They mostly had images of white boys with skinny jeans. Kids who didn’t live in countries where cops fired tear gas canisters into gay clubs and sex between men was punishable by fourteen years in prison …
‘I’d always erase the browser history afterwards,’ Julius confessed. ‘But I was terrified there was some way my mum or brothers would find what I’d been looking at …’
‘In Holland, they give gay kids lube and condoms in school,’ Duke said enviously.
‘Gay pride, gay marriage,’ Julius added, laughing as he drained his glass and planted it atop a stack of books. ‘Lucky pricks …’
Duke took a slug straight from the rum bottle as Julius pulled his T-shirt over his head.
Julius had rediscovered the easy vibe they’d felt when racing up the stairs. They paused, chest to chest, no sound but breathing and rain. Then they moved together to kiss.
FIFTEEN
Seventy minutes later, Julius stood breathless in a shower cubicle, wrestling a grimy curtain that billowed and stuck to his legs. It was barely warm, and the sixth-floor water pressure feeble, but he felt full of life.
He’d already been away from home longer than planned. But if military school was the price of making love to Duke, it still felt worth it. He imagined telling his mother every detail and seeing her head burst like an egg in a microwave.
Duke had showered first. Towelling dry, then spending ages fixing his hair in the steamed-up mirror. He put on clean shorts, tidied a stack of books they’d crashed into, flipped two sofa cushions with sweat patches and buried the empty rum bottle at the base of the trash can.
‘Hungry?’ Duke asked as Julius ambled out, slightly drunk as he found his shorts.