Chapters (88)
- Cover
- Title Page
- Dear Reader …
- Also by Robert Muchamore
- PART ONE
- Walter J Freeman Adolescent Mental Health Unit – East Grinstead, UK
- ONE
- TWO
- THREE
- FOUR
- FIVE
- SIX
- SEVEN
- EIGHT
- NINE
- TEN
- ELEVEN
- PART TWO
- TWELVE
- THIRTEEN
- FOURTEEN
- FIFTEEN
- SIXTEEN
- SEVENTEEN
- EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN
- TWENTY
- TWENTY-ONE
- TWENTY-TWO
- TWENTY-THREE
- TWENTY-FOUR
- TWENTY-FIVE
- TWENTY-SIX
- TWENTY-SEVEN
- TWENTY-EIGHT
- TWENTY-NINE
- THIRTY
- THIRTY-ONE
- THIRTY-TWO
- THIRTY-THREE
- THIRTY-FOUR
- THIRTY-FIVE
- THIRTY-SIX
- THIRTY-SEVEN
- THIRTY-EIGHT
- PART THREE
- Walter J. Freeman Adolescent Mental Health Unit – East Grinstead, UK
- THIRTY-NINE
- FORTY
- FORTY-ONE
- FORTY-TWO
- FORTY-THREE
- FORTY-FOUR
- FORTY-FIVE
- FORTY-SIX
- FORTY-SEVEN
- FORTY-EIGHT
- FORTY-NINE
- FIFTY
- FIFTY-ONE
- FIFTY-TWO
- FIFTY-THREE
- FIFTY-FOUR
- PART FOUR
- FIFTY-FIVE
- FIFTY-SIX
- FIFTY-SEVEN
- FIFTY-EIGHT
- FIFTY-NINE
- SIXTY
- SIXTY-ONE
- SIXTY-TWO
- SIXTY-THREE
- SIXTY-FOUR
- SIXTY-FIVE
- SIXTY-SIX
- SIXTY-SEVEN
- SIXTY-EIGHT
- SIXTY-NINE
- SEVENTY
- SEVENTY-ONE
- SEVENTY-TWO
- SEVENTY-THREE
- EPILOGUE
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- Have you read KILLER T?
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
‘I got my UK phone going by paying cash in a Vodafone shop. But then I got called into the school finance office and told eight grand of school fees hadn’t been paid for the new term. I got through to SJ on a special number I was given for something else. He said money was tight. He promised to sort me out, but he didn’t. And the school was gentle, but they made it clear I could only stay until the end of summer term if nobody was paying my bill.’
‘Major stress,’ Georgia said empathetically.
‘A bit!’ Julius said. ‘I’m staying in the UK on an education visa, so if I get kicked out of school I have to go home to all the shit. And my brother Gabe has been telling me stuff, like my other brother Taiwo’s medical bills weren’t paid, and my mum was beaten up in prison …’
‘Is your uncle broke?’ Alex asked.
‘My uncle’s wife posted pictures of a massive wedding for my oldest cousin, Luke. Collins’s Instagram has pics of a Mercedes he got for his eighteenth birthday. I think SJ wants to make it clear he’s the big man now Mum is in prison. We’re no different to the rest of the extended family, begging for his scraps.
‘The day I ended up here, I was in soccer practice. I’d barely slept in three nights. I’d had a crap morning, because I’d studied the wrong module for a geography test and got an F. We were playing two defenders on two attackers and this kid, Rob, was needling me. He’s a striker, probably the best player in our school. I’m purely a positional defender. Rob’s running rings around me, and taking the mickey. There’s always banter when you play, but this was different. Then I went down on my ass and he called me a homo …’
An ahh went around the therapy circle.
Julius played it down. ‘If you play soccer, people wind you up, hoping you’ll lash out and get sent off.
‘But when Rob called me homo my brain detonated. I elbowed him so hard, it mashed his nose. He went down and I jumped on top and started punching the shit out of him.
‘It took a teacher and three big guys to pull me off. Rob’s nose was a mess, blood everywhere. That triggered thoughts of Duke getting beaten up and I felt ashamed, because I hate violence.
‘Then I started crying. All the worries about home and the bottled-up feelings about Duke. They put me in the school counsellor’s office. I sat on the floor and sobbed. It hurt so much. Like my brain had blown a fuse.’
Alex nodded with recognition. ‘You’re not alone, mate. I’m usually the one locked in the cupboard, waiting for the men to come take me to the nuthouse …’