I knew I should apologize. There was a ding on my phone and a text from my dad popped up.

Where are you?

I made a frustrated sound. “I have to go,” I said. “We can talk later.”

I ended the call and headed back toward the hospital doors. As I passed the smoking woman, I said, “You’re not supposed to smoke here. It’s a hospital.”

“Mind your own business,” she snapped.

I turned to look straight at her. I wanted to get into it. But she looked so defeated—bags under her eyes, her hair a mess, a stain that looked like coffee mixed with ketchup on her shirt—I was ashamed I had chastised her.

Chapter 44

I wasn’t supposed to be at home alone on Friday when Steph came over to do the yard work. Dad and I were supposed to be packing up some of Joan’s clothes to prepare for her transfer to a stroke rehabilitation center in San Rafael, but Aunt Tammy had called early from the hospital and asked Dad to join her there. The appointment they had with Joan’s doctors had been moved up from the afternoon.

He left just as Steph arrived. I was standing on the front step as she came up the path, and my stomach lurched in anticipation.

“My dad’s gone for—I don’t know, a while,” I said instead of hello. “My aunt, too. We’re alone.”

She kissed me as if we had nothing to hide. “I still have to do the yard work,” she said, but I heard the smile in her voice.

“Later,” I said, and kissed her again.

She called in sick to work. I told her I didn’t want her to lose her hours but she insisted, and said she didn’t know when we’d get this chance to be together again. It sounded so adult, so responsible, even though she was shirking her duties for me. I didn’t protest for long. I wanted this stolen time for us.

I led the way to my room, holding her hand. I sat down on the edge of my bed and she stood in front of me, a hesitant expression on her face.

“Are you still on your period?” I asked.

She seemed a little embarrassed. “No.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“You don’t want to—”

“I want to,” she said, cutting me off. She kissed me before I could say another word.