“They were different days, different cameras, different photographers. Different purposes.”

“What was your purpose?”

“Oh, I think . . . I just wanted to capture your mother. I wasn’t doing as much photography by then. But she was so vibrant—is so vibrant. Has so much personality. She was very open to what I wanted to do.”

“Did she like it?” I asked.

“Your mother is an artist,” Joan said. “She understood it.”

Chapter 26

5:13 PM

Steph: You’re still coming to Roxy’s party tomorrow night right? I’m driving down with Lisa but you can grab a ride with Mel

5:14 PM

Me: I’ll be there! Can’t wait

Steph: Me too xx

Chapter 27

I went to the mall to hunt for something new to wear to the party. I flipped through tops at Madewell and Free People and finally at Nordstrom with increasing frustration, because everything seemed too straight somehow. I ended up buying a loose gray tank top with a sheer back, and at home I tried it on with jeans and a pair of black leather ankle boots I bought on sale. My black bra showed through the back of the shirt, and I thought about Steph seeing me, and I suddenly felt like I’d made the wrong choice. The shirt was too obvious. I took it off, and then I stood there in my bra and jeans and had no idea what to do.

In the mirror over the dresser I looked like I was about to cry. I pressed my fingertips beneath my eyes. I told myself I was being ridiculous. It was a shirt.

I put it back on. I turned back to the mirror. My hair was loose and wavy. I was wearing my silver hoop earrings. I’d put on heavy eyeliner and mascara, and a new dark red MAC lipstick. Tasha and Haley would be surprised by my new look, but when I looked at myself, I saw who I wanted to be.

—

Mel blasted classic Missy Elliott in the Jeep on the drive down to the city. She was hyped up, bopping her head in time to the beat. “If I stay over tonight,” she said over the music, “you can get a ride back with Steph and Lisa.”

“So, you and Roxy . . .”

She shot me a grin. “It’s gonna be a good night. I can feel it.”

The bass reverberated through the Jeep’s speakers and into my body. The vibration like a hand on my back urging me to make a move.

—