But all was quiet here, normal. On this deck looking out at the brown-and-green hills, there was no trace of what had happened last night. Maybe it didn’t happen at all. Maybe I was living my life in multiple universes, and I was the only one who could move between them. In the universe that contained this house, I was Joan’s granddaughter, and I was going to check on her in a few hours to make sure she was okay. Last night had taken place in another universe—one where I was not myself. That universe contained Steph-and-me, if that was a thing. All our lunches at In-N-Out were in that universe. The quiet inside her truck cab was in that universe.

I remembered kissing her. I tried not to, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know it was possible to want to be in a place that ached like a bruise.

—

I was restless. Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger” was stuck in my head on a loop. I changed into hiking clothes and left Joan a note saying I was going up to the fire road. I wondered if I should take Analemma, but there was no sound from Joan’s room and I didn’t want to disturb her if she was sleeping. I grabbed my earphones and a bottle of water and headed out.

I put on Lana Del Rey because she seemed like the opposite of Kelly Clarkson. The fire road was busy with Sunday mountain bikers, and I kept to the side as I walked. It was warm, and when I stopped to take a drink of water, I felt sweat trickling down my back beneath my tank top. I had forgotten to put on sunscreen, and the possibility that I’d burn seemed fitting. I turned off the unshaded fire road as soon as I could, taking a small unmarked trail downhill. I wasn’t sure where it would end up, but I figured it didn’t matter. I had my phone.

And then it rang. I pulled it out of my back pocket, and I was both surprised and unsurprised to see Steph’s name on the screen. For a moment I thought about not taking her call, but before it was too late, I swiped to answer.

“Hello?” I said.

“Hey. It’s Steph.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry about what happened.”

I didn’t say anything.

“I didn’t mean— I don’t want you to think I don’t—” She sighed. “We’re still friends, right?”

A hiker was coming up the path toward me, so I stepped off the trail. I was surrounded by those trees with the peeling bark. I couldn’t remember their name.

“Aria?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I feel like I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to do that. I want you to—I want to be friends.”