“Of course. That’s what I’m here for.”

This woman is too good to be true. Matter-of-fact, calm and in control. Everything I’ve tried to be.

I give her my address and Leanne says she’ll be at my place in twenty minutes. She recommends I make myself a cup of tea and have something small to eat. Then I’m to lie on the bed until she arrives.

I do exactly as she says.

There’s a knock at the door fifteen minutes later and I let Leanne in. She gives me a brief, no-nonsense hug.

“Right now, Trish. Back to your bed and we’ll have a chat.”

Once again, I follow her instructions.

Leanne perches on the bed next to my hip.

“I’m assuming you saw a doctor at some point to confirm your pregnancy?” she states.

“Yes.”

“And they did blood tests?”

“Yes. I never heard back, so I assumed it was fine.”

“I’m sure if there was anything out of the ordinary, they’d have contacted you. Did you have any morning sickness?”

I nod. “More like all-day sickness.”

“Nausea or throwing up?”

“Both.”

“How often did you vomit?”

“Probably four, five times a day.”

Leanne gives me a silent stare. “That must have been hard for you, Trish. Did you see a doctor about it?”

I look down. “No.”

“So, you haven’t had a blood test since your first doctor’s appointment to confirm your pregnancy?”

“No.” I’m the worst mother in the world and I’m not even a mother yet.

“Right, well, let’s have a little listen to the baby’s heartbeat and we’ll go from there – assuming you’re happy to have me as your midwife?”

“Very happy,” I say firmly.

Leanne smiles. “Excellent.” She opens her bag and brings out a little white box with a cord attached. “If you can lift up your shirt, Trish, I’ll introduce myself to your baby.”

18

Leanne leaves half an hour later. I have strict instructions to stay home from work tomorrow and rest in bed until she can arrange an ultrasound appointment. Leanne is confident my baby is fine, but she wants confirmation all the same. I see now why Emma thought I’d like her.

My phone rings as I’m brushing my teeth. I leave it because I’m tired and fragile, and I also know I won’t make it back to my bedroom in time to answer. I’m not allowed to rush. I have to take it easy. The best thing I can do for my baby right now is take care of myself. All things Leanne has told me tonight in her forthright tone.

“This is the time to put your health and well-being before anything else, Trish.”

So, that’s what I’m going to try to do. Starting with an early night.