The bleeding has stopped now and I’m feeling sleepy. Dopey, even. Like I’ve been given a pill to help me relax. Only, Leanne gave me nothing. Actually, she gave me exactly what I needed. She took care of me and I let her. The only other time that ever happened was when I stayed with Grammy Rose. Even then, I never fully let myself accept her affection because I knew it wasn’t going to last. I’d have to go back home to Mum and Dad: to a house of empty looks and closed doors.

*

I’m almost asleep when there’s a bang on my front door.

“Trish, open up,” yells Lily. “For fuck’s sake, open your door before I bash it down.”

I drag myself into an upright position, my head foggy. I hear Lily mutter and other voices responding. Is that Mags? And Emma? Oh, God, they’re all here. What’s going on?

I reach for my dressing gown on the end of my bed.

“Coming,” I croak.

When I turn the door handle, they burst in and surround me like a herd of bulls.

“What’s happened?” Emma asks. “We’ve been calling and calling.”

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Lily demands. “After I listened to your message, I knew something was wrong and when you didn’t reply”

“We’ve been so worried,” says Mags. “Is it the baby?”

“Calm down, I’m fine,” I say, shaking my head.

I’m half loving the fact my friends have dropped everything to come running and half annoyed they’ve turned up unannounced when I was so close to sleep – something I’ve been in short supply of recently.

“You sounded terrible,” says Lily. “Don’t go acting all cool, calm and collected on us.”

I sigh. “Look, I’m sorry I freaked you out. I was in a panic because I’d started bleeding and I was getting pains”

“Oh, Trish.” Mags is so distraught she has to lean on the wall for support.

Emma places a hand on my arm. “Did you go to the doctor?”

“Fuck,” Lily says loudly. “Why the hell did I choose the one and only time my friend rings me in genuine need to be bonking Darryl’s brains out on top the washing machine?” She covers her face. “Bloody Darryl,” she mutters.

I giggle quietly. “Was the machine going at the time, Lils?” I ask.

“Trish.” Emma squeezes my arm, her face serious. “Don’t change the subject.”

I remember Leanne’s words and the vow I made to put myself first.

“I’m going to lie back down.”

Nudging past Mags, I head to my room and climb into bed. The others follow. Lily flops onto the end of the bed and the other two sit either side like nurses tending to the infirm.