With a guttural noise I can’t quite believe is coming from me, I begin to push. There’s a sharp burning sensation down below. It’s agonizing, but I don’t care. I don’t care how much pain I’m in – I need to get this baby out.

“OK, Trish,” says Leanne. “I can see your baby’s head. You’re doing so well. Get ready to push again. One, two, three… push,” Leanne says.

I growl. Surely this is it – the baby will slip out the way it does on TV. But it doesn’t. I push and I push for what feels like hours, but I don’t make any progress.

“It’s not coming out,” I moan. “I can’t do this.”

Emma frowns then dashes from the room. Seconds later she’s back with Lily.

“All right, Trish.” Lily stabs a finger in my direction, her face ghostly pale. “This is the last place I want to be because a) you’re trying to push a baby out of your vag, and b) I can’t handle seeing my friend in pain, so here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to get this over with right now.”

The fire and energy in Lily’s voice is infectious. I feel pumped and about as pissed off as she looks.

“OK!” I yell.

“All right.” Lily perches on the bed beside me. “All I’ve got to go on is those shit movies where the woman giving birth screams her head off, so let’s do it. Let’s all scream so loud, the nurses out there sipping their coffee will hit the panic button.”

I nod. Emma leans in and wipes the sweat off my face, and Mags grips my hand.

“Ready, girls,” Lily says loudly. She looks at me and winks. “One, two, three…”

I take a deep breath, glare at my belly and push. Lily starts to scream, followed by Emma, Mags and then me. At first, it’s a polite scream. But once I start, it feels so good, I get louder and harsher. Lily, Emma and Mags match my volume and my ears reverberate with the noise. The sound is a source of power, filling me with strength. For a few seconds, my vision is lost to the pain as I feel my baby move.

“The head’s out, Trish,” Leanne yells. “One last push!”

I clamp my mouth closed and my friends do the same. The sudden silence is eerie and irreverent. I close my eyes, give one more push and my baby is born. I can see its perfect, wrinkled body in Leanne’s arms.

“Congratulations, Trish. You have a baby girl,” she says, lifting the baby closer towards me. “Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”