BooksBarbecue
Back When We Were Friends
Chapters (52)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. Dedication
  4. About the Author
  5. 31
  6. 14
  7. 31
  8. 14
  9. 31
  10. 14
  11. 31
  12. 14
  13. 31
  14. 15
  15. 31
  16. 16
  17. 32
  18. 16
  19. 32
  20. 17
  21. 32
  22. 17
  23. 32
  24. 17
  25. 32
  26. 17
  27. 32
  28. 18
  29. 32
  30. 18
  31. 32
  32. 18
  33. 32
  34. 18
  35. 32
  36. 18
  37. 32
  38. 18
  39. 32
  40. 18
  41. 32
  42. 18
  43. 32
  44. 18
  45. 32
  46. 32
  47. 33
  48. 33
  49. 33
  50. Acknowledgments
  51. Discussion Questions
  52. Booklist

I could’ve chosen the other side. Could’ve heeded Amy’s warning. But, despite all the drama, there was a magnetic pull to Jessica. I kept remembering her saying how cool I was outside her house, and not being able to stop grinning. Plus, it wasn’t my love interest she’d got with. It was just stupid Matt, who Kim never had a chance with anyway. Part of me saw Jessica getting with him as retribution for how she’d stolen Amy from me. And that twisted logic saw us merge into a unit. A twosome. Jessica and I. Fern and Jessica. Sewn at the hip. And yet the new friendship couldn’t save me from my depression. I was slowly falling into a thick fog again. Losing my grasp on what was real and what wasn’t. Attending school felt like walking through a fading photograph. In lessons, teachers’ voices sounded like a low humming noise. I’d hurt myself just to feel something, anything. The darkness of the world felt too overwhelming and I detached from my body often, floating off. The only things able to pull me back into gravitational orbit were self-harm, or the healthier option of Jessica. A text. A joke. A lunchtime spent together laughing in the tucked away table in the school library. But, sometimes even she couldn’t tether me. I missed one day of school, telling my mother I didn’t feel well. Then, the following week, I missed another, faking a really heavy period. A month later, I’d stopped with the charade entirely. I just plain didn’t go in on the days I couldn’t face it. Mum handled it brilliantly, of course. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to us again,” was a very supportive stance to take, alongside, “What did I do wrong to make you like this?” Whereas Dad quietly rang the school and explained, and I was sent work to do at home. But I hid the reality behind my absences from Jessica.

Fern: Wont b in 2day again. So soz. This fckin bug keeps coming bk

Jessica: Oh no! Poor u xxx

Fern: Did I miss much 2day? Sorry I couldn’t come in again.

Jessica: Not much. Just spent lunchtime with the boys. Matt still being weird.

Fern: He LOVES u

Jessica: He’s such a child

Fern: Still sick. Mb bk on Fri? Sorry Im so crap

Jessica: Stop being sorry! I just want you WELL