She threw her arms up to the ornate ceiling. “Well, I was right. Men do have the women they love, and the women they fuck. And, so, like the biggest cliché ever, I found out Brendan was having an affair. Affairs, plural. With all the clichéd people. Like his bloody intern, like our neighbor. Then he found some stupid posho who was over there for a project. Dirty little rich girl from Chelsea. And there you have it. He’d left me. He’s fucking her. I’m back here. Hilariously...” For the second time she tried to drink her empty drink, her mouth gasping like a fish, looking momentarily ugly, before she put it down and tried to catch the waiter’s attention. “Anyway, I’m divorced, and bitter, and exhausted. How are you?”

I couldn’t believe it. This wasn’t Jessica. She was never so open and honest and vulnerable. When I saw the pain on her face, my guard flew down and I pulled her into a hug over the table. Everything temporarily forgotten.

“You’re brilliant and gorgeous and wonderful, and leaving you will be the worst thing he ever did,” I told her. Her arms stretched around my back, pulling me close, and we hugged ’til the bar around us went fuzzy. I could feel her breath on my neck, her heartbeat through her fragile chest. When we broke apart, she showed her pointed teeth, smiling shyly.

“Would it be absolute madness,” she asked. “To get another round?”

Morning. Headache. The smell of a cup of tea.

“Fern?”

Ben’s hand was on my forehead, as if I were a poorly child.

“Ouch!” I sat up, my brain roaring.

“What are you doing on the sofa, my darling?” There was laughter in his voice.

I blinked in the new day, found my body tangled in a blanket, my limbs crumpled up on the sofa. “I... I don’t know.”

“You must’ve been wasted.”

Everything after drink four was gone. I had no idea how I got home, when we left, what had happened next. I hadn’t blacked out like this since I was a teenager—I forgot how truly disconcerting the feeling was.

“Sorry,” I said, holding my head. “I drank too much...”

“This Jessica is obviously a fun girl.”

Hugging her. Squeezing her. Laughing with her. Being free with her. Loving her again. Swirls of memories filled the room like cigarette smoke.

“We just got carried away. It’s been so long since we saw each other.”

“Well, take this.” He handed me a hot mug. “It will help. I have to dash though, I’ve got form time at eight thirty.”