“I know so!” She slumped forward conspiratorially, tracing the rim of her glass ’til it hummed. “Look, Ben is lovely to you, right? But, I’m sorry, I bet you a million pounds, to some woman out there, he’s some dickhead who fucked her and left her wondering what’s wrong with her, because she didn’t fall into the right funnel. Why was she left with a used condom in her bin and a polite phone call saying, ‘Just to be clear that was a one-off right?’ whereas you get to move in with him? Be the girlfriend? Same guy. Totally different to different women.”

“I don’t think Ben...” I started, before trailing off, feeling completely sick now.

What did I think? Would Ben...? I blinked a few times as her words unraveled me. We had spoken about our pasts. He had said he’d gone to a “dark place” and “slept around some” after the jilting, but he respected women, didn’t he? I was so thrown, digesting her theory, that I initially didn’t notice Jessica. She tipped back her narrow chin to finish the rest of her drink, and, when she placed the empty glass back, there was a film of tears in her eyes. Another shock.

“Are you OK?”

“Yeah, sorry, I’m fine.” She wiped her face with a red-manicured nail. “It’s just...with Brendan...I thought I’d figured it out. That I’d cracked the code, you know? I was so sick of being the girl everyone fucked, rather than the girl everyone loved. So I made myself different for him. I didn’t sleep with him until, like, the tenth date. And, you know what? It worked. Brendan couldn’t get enough of me. He was setting up dates three and four before we’d even finished date one. And we had dates. Dates! Not just flimsy fake plans to cover the fact we’d blow them off and fuck anyway. ‘Let’s go to the cinema, actually, I’m not in the mood, are you? No? Let’s fuck then. Oh, by the way, I have a girlfriend, I’m sorry I forgot to tell you. I love her very much. She’s not a slut like you.’” Jessica’s voice slurred slightly. It was the first time she’d appeared less than Mary Poppins levels of put-together since we’d reunited. As I slumped forward to hear her, I realized I was almost just as drunk.

“Hey, don’t say that. You’re not...” I couldn’t say it.