Speaking to a friend who works at a rape crisis center, she confirmed they were having a surge in calls about incidents that happened five, ten, twenty years ago. We’d been woken up but then driven inside our houses to remember and realize and get angry. And me, trying to write a novel while the world outside my window was changing forever, I too found history catching up on me—memories of growing up that I saw in a new light. And thus, this novel became something different and darker from the initial celebration of female friendship I’d plotted. A total shift from the plan. This manuscript became an unwieldy purging of some kind, one that I only finished once the world started to unlock again.

I want to thank my glorious editor, Kimberley, for having such an unwavering faith in this book’s total detour. This wasn’t the novel we excitedly discussed over scones and naivety over “that virus in the news.” But this is a book I am so proud of, a book I’m glad exists, and it couldn’t have gotten here without her total confidence in the strange process I went through writing it.

To my editor in the US, April, for also guiding and steering me through Fern and Jessica’s journey.

Thanks to Madeleine Milburn, who never doubts me no matter how determined I am to doubt myself. Your confidence keeps me brave.

And to everyone who works at the MM agency, at Hodder and at MIRA in the US who champion my books. I adore and need every single one of you.

It’s still my greatest pride to be an ambassador for Women’s Aid, a charity that was needed even more urgently in lockdown. Thank you for everything you do to protect women and children from violence, and thank you to everyone who works in this sector. One day, hopefully, we will find the vaccine that solves this issue. But, in the meantime, thank Christ you exist.

The pandemic reminded me just how dear my loved ones are to me. Thank you to my wonderful parents and sisters. And, to W—the man who has morphed from beloved boyfriend to husband to father over the journey of writing this novel. Truly the light in my darkest times. I love you. Thank you for always encouraging me to be brave in my writing, for always believing in me, and for putting up with my obsession with discussing hugely dark topics over dinner. You are everything. And to little C, I hope we can make the world better and easier for you.