The boys took in the girl-shaped contents of our booth, silently nodded to one another, and made their way over.

“You all right?” Kim started manically giggling, and Amy elbowed her.

“Room for us?” Eric gestured with his head.

“Sure!”

We all budged up for them. They too had their own orbit of combined synthetic scent. As they crammed themselves in, their smell cloud and ours combined, and it was so overwhelming I’m surprised it didn’t start its own weather system.

“Hey, do you guys know Jessica?” I asked.

The boys used this as an opportunity to look her up and down, pretending they didn’t know she was the Hottest Girl of the Year.

“You’re new, right?” Sean asked with faux naivety. He was Eric’s best mate. A very short boy, with chronic acne, who managed to dodge the inevitable bullying by being immensely good at football.

Jessica, who, as it happened, was sucking her straw effortlessly in a way that was both demure and sexual, smiled and lowered her cup. “Yes. You’re in my maths class, right?”

“Yeah, isn’t Mr. Ferris the absolute worst?”

“I can smell his breath from the back row.”

The three boys laughed together, with their heads thrown back, before realizing a girl had made a joke, and then turning down the dial.

Matt—yet to speak—nodded his head. “His breath’s totally rancid. I’m not even taught by him, but he once walked past me in the corridor, and I almost puked.”

“This is really making me enjoy my milkshake,” I said. The boys reluctantly laughed again while Kim watched the exchange with bulging eyes, unsure how to interject.

“I LOVE milkshake,” she declared. “I love the taste of milkshake so much.”

The table dissolved into hyena giggles, as Kim turned pinker.

“Sounds like you’ve drunk a lot of milkshake in your life,” Eric said, while all the boys hooted. Matt slapped his knee, as Kim reddened.

Then, understanding the innuendo, she played along. “Why are you all laughing?” she said. “What’s so funny about drinking milkshake?”

“Vanilla your favorite flavor?” Matt asked.

Jessica and I rolled our eyes at one another, while Kim delighted in the attention. This was the most interaction she’d ever had with Matt, and all she’d had to do was dangle the possibility she’d suck him off and say it tasted like a McFlurry.

“Why are you guys laughing so hard? I don’t get it.” She moved her straw to the front of her mouth, but it didn’t quite work. Her lips bunched up too much. “I’m just saying I like milkshake, why’s everyone being so weird?”

“Has anyone ever spilled milkshake on you?”

“Once...”