I pretended I was much, much, cooler about this than I was, and reached out and stroked his leg, enjoying the feeling of his strong calf through his pajama bottoms. “Well, you know, some men say it’s just what men do.”

“Well, not men like me, jeez,” he laughed. “If I asked Joel if he fancied going to Spearmint Rhino I think he’d ask if I was OK, and suggest we go watch the football in the pub instead. Whoa, good morning!”

I’d launched myself on him. His body sank under mine as I lay on top of him, nestling my nose into his neck.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He patted my back hesitantly. “I mean, it’s weird you’re even rewarding me for this.”

He carefully rolled me off him so we were lying horizontally. Every inch of the fronts of our bodies touching, breathing in one another’s out breath. He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear, making my stomach rumble with longing. I kissed him. Still wanting to compensate him with some kind of bare-minimum medal. The front fabric of his pajama bottoms twitched.

“So, when’s the mysterious Jessica arriving?” he asked, when we broke apart for air, his hand skimming over the curve of my arse.

“After lunch. I’ve got to finish that article first and clean the place up a bit.”

Ben’s hand now paused on my breast, and I felt my body harden under my pajama top. Our conversation was pointless now. A facade in exchanging sentences when we both knew we’d be having sex within the next five minutes.

“It’s so great your college has given you the all clear for the series.” His hand now gently cupped my boob and I sighed.

“Yeah. The class has been great too. A few of them were a bit worried I’d break confidentiality. But when I explained I would literally only talk about my own experiences, and the content of the course, they...oh...”

I closed my eyes as Ben’s tongue pushed into my mouth, sighing with relief again, with longing, with love. He was such a good man, and he wanted me. Me. That would never stop turning me on. Our pajamas melted away, hands everywhere, mouths everywhere. He tried to go down on me, but I was too worried I’d smell as it was the morning, so I tugged him back up, pulled his mouth to mine, and used my hands on his arse to pull his body into mine.

“I love you, Fern,” he muttered into my shoulder.

He’d said it first. It always meant so much more when he said it first. Lust poured through me and I tried to pull him in even further—the deepest still not deep enough. Not for how strongly I felt. Not for how much I wanted him. Loved him. Needed him. Could never lose him.