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Back When We Were Bright and Beautiful
Chapters (72)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Part One
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. Part Two
  25. 20
  26. 21
  27. 22
  28. 23
  29. 24
  30. 25
  31. 26
  32. 27
  33. 28
  34. 29
  35. 30
  36. 31
  37. 32
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. 35
  41. 36
  42. Part Three
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. Epilogue
  68. Author’s Note
  69. Acknowledgments
  70. About the Author
  71. Also by Jillian Medoff
  72. About the Publisher

The trial is set for October 30, and until then, Billy is required to wear his monitoring bracelet, report to a probation officer, and, somehow, get through each day. Eleanor has plans to take him to a host of therapists and wellness workers, along with the psychiatrist he’s already seeing, but I know my brother, and he’ll refuse anyone he has to talk to for more than five minutes.

For the next five months, we’ll work with DeFiore’s team on Billy’s defense. DeFiore will continue to press us to plead out. We’ll continue to say no, absolutely not; and then as the trial gets closer, we’ll say maybe. Like Billy, we have to stay optimistic and resolute, which becomes increasingly difficult with each passing day. Reporters continue to reach out in surprising ways and at unexpected times. “No interviews,” DeFiore reminds us. But it’s so hard to stay quiet when the story they’re telling is based on lies.

Billy’s indictment has turned our lives upside down. The five of us are stuck in the house every day, from dawn till dusk, holed up together like snakes in a nest. The constant closeness is wearing, and as tension brews, arguments break out. Teeth cleanings, checkups, eye exams, mammograms—all on hold until after the trial. The funding for Lawrence’s foundation is in flux. Nate extended his Bessemer leave then quit. Eleanor’s set is gossiping, lifelong friends won’t return calls. The Bowtie comes around, which makes everything worse. The press is still camped on the sidewalk with microphones and telephoto lenses. Once in a while, I sit with Lawrence and Nate as they field updates from DeFiore. The guy is never not working. He calls and texts compulsively with news of evidentiary hearings and toxicology reports. Their conversations, which are tense and combative, go on for hours; and more often than not, result in nothing.

Yesterday, Billy made a troubling announcement. “I wish I could go to prison already and get a jump on my sentence.” That he’ll be found guilty is, in his mind, inevitable. So I guess it’s good that DeFiore works so hard. I mean, how do you effectively represent an innocent kid who’s not only guilty in the court of public opinion, but who’s also given up on himself?

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