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Back When We Were Bright and Beautiful Save as PDF
Chapters (72)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. Part One
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. Part Two
  25. 20
  26. 21
  27. 22
  28. 23
  29. 24
  30. 25
  31. 26
  32. 27
  33. 28
  34. 29
  35. 30
  36. 31
  37. 32
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. 35
  41. 36
  42. Part Three
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. Epilogue
  68. Author’s Note
  69. Acknowledgments
  70. About the Author
  71. Also by Jillian Medoff
  72. About the Publisher

“I’m not afraid. I’m just sick of the sound of your voice.” Heading out, I turn around. “Maybe I’m the monster, Greg. Maybe it’s been me all along.” Admitting this makes the coldness recede. Finally, the truth is out. I brace myself for Haggerty to agree.

Instead, he says no, I’m wrong. “No one believes that but you, Cassandra.”

36

I STAY AT SCHOOL. I ATTEND CLASSES, PARTICIPATE IN STUDY sessions, and consider my dissertation. I don’t read the paper or watch the news. Billy is in a separate chamber of my brain; a chamber I seal off for all of October. But as the days shorten and the nights get chilly, I know I need to go home. I tell my professors I have a family emergency and will miss a month of classes. I promise to make up the work. You have to go, they insist. Family matters most.

* * *

My second morning back in New York, I wake up to an empty house. Now that I’m here, everyone is gone. No one has left me a note. Billy’s trial begins Monday, three days away, and the press has returned en masse. Reporters swarm the Valmont, lobbing questions at anyone who passes by. It’s a mess for everyone coming or going. Where the hell could my family be?

I text Lawrence:

Where are you guys

No reply.

The silence in this house is a beating heart, alive and pulsing with darkness. It weighs me down, makes me sluggish even as my mind races.

Why didn’t you wake me up? Where’s Eleanor?

I’m jangly being in my childhood bed. Paranoid about Haggerty. There’s a low-grade buzzing in my head.

I text Nate:

Where are you?

Nate has inherited his father’s self-absorption. They both lure me in then cast me out.

What are you doing? Where are you? Please reply!

Nothing, nowhere, silence.

I can’t stop thinking about Haggerty. Same question: I know what he wants; I just don’t know why. Why is it such a crusade? Why now? I look at the question from every angle, but the answer is encrypted, and I can’t crack the code. I have no one to ask except—

“Hey, kid.” It’s Lawrence, upbeat and self-assured. His voice fills me with relief. He stands at my door, chewing on a straw like a man without a care in the world.

“Where were you?” My mind slows down, my body ramps up.

“Out for coffee.” He’s still chewing.

“And Eleanor?”

“With Billy and Nate, suit shopping.” He leans on the doorframe. Glances behind him. “Cassie, listen. DeFiore is coming over later, and we’ll take you through everything. I know I’m a broken record, but you have to prepare.”