“And what was the defendant’s reaction?”

“Billy has a temper. When it’s triggered, he lashes out.”

Anderson refers to Exhibit A-19, the dorm room wall with fist-sized holes. “Like this?” He places the photo on an easel. “Did the defendant do this? Did he make these holes in reaction to you saying you wanted to break up?”

“Yes, he punched the wall.”

“How else did pornography affect your relationship? Was it just the fact that he hid how often he watched? Did you distrust him? Or was there more to it?”

“No . . . I mean, yes, he was untrustworthy. But when I confronted him, and he stopped sneaking around, it got worse. Porn permeated our relationship. Billy also . . .” Diana stumbles. “He can’t maintain an erection unless he’s watching, so he positioned his computer next to the bed. He watched videos while we . . . uh . . . made love. It was humiliating. I was sure it was my fault. I wasn’t pretty or sexy enough. I figured if he needed porn because of a deficiency in me, then I had no right to ask him to stop. I was ashamed. I am ashamed. I didn’t think I deserved better . . . I just . . .” She starts to cry. “It was unbearable.”

Anderson asks if she needs a break.

“No. I want to finish.” She gathers herself. “By November, I realized Billy’s problem was bigger than me. Or rather, had nothing to do with me. Like any addictive behavior, it was compulsive. He couldn’t stop.”

“What happened?”

“We were at his parents’ home in New York.”

“You got along well with his family?”

“I thought so. I only met them a couple of times. They were very gracious. But I was intimidated, the same way I was with Billy in the beginning. His mother and sister are so glamorous. Cassie was extra nice. I could tell she was anxious to be close to him again. That night she drove all the way from New Haven just for dinner.”

On this point, Diana is correct. I drove home because I was curious about her and Billy. According to Lawrence, she was clingy and they might be breaking up. So I wanted to see if my brother and I could be friends again. I also planned to have a stern talk with Lawrence about his own clinginess. His constant texts and calls were driving me up the wall.

“Billy was agitated that night,” Diana continues. “We were in the den, having a drink before dinner, and he kept jumping up to use the bathroom. At first I thought Cassie was making him uncomfortable. I knew—well, Billy had told me—that everyone gets tense when she’s home. Then I realized he was sneaking off to watch porn. It was like a light bulb went on. In that moment, I understood he was an addict, it wasn’t my fault, and we’d both be happier if we broke up for good.”