Nate’s decided to be nice to me again. I appreciate having him there to help me make sense of the trial. Not that I ever doubted Nate’s intelligence, but Billy’s arrest has brought out a studious, diligent side I didn’t realize he had. He follows every testimony, scours the news reports, and offers DeFiore suggestions. He also, apparently, reads editorials.

From inside the lobby, I watch the women on the street. Their shouting is muted, but their mouths are open holes, their eyes vengeful slits. Their fury is unnerving. Where does that kind of rage come from? Do they hold it in the rest of the time so that they can unleash it here? What happens if they never let it out?

“Cassie, let’s go.” Lawrence is prodding me. “You’re dawdling.”

You’re repulsive. A memory stirs, unbidden. Tangled pubic hair. The flash of a penis. A woman reclining on a bed. Pervert, pervert, pervert.

“Don’t let them get to you,” Nate says. I must look upset because he’s insistent. “Seriously, Cassie. The protests mean nothing. Billy isn’t addicted to porn any more than he’s addicted to weed. The DA’s theory has nothing to do with the charges. It’s all theater.”

“But what if he is?” A sheet corner coming loose. The bounce of a flimsy mattress. Repulsive starts to echo.

“Doesn’t make him a rapist.”

The women’s accusations nag at me. You’re a pervert. You’re repulsive. I feel like I’ve made a mistake that needs correcting, but can’t remember what, exactly, I’ve done.

* * *

In the courtroom, the mood is convivial. People who were strangers a week ago have become like old friends. Family members, reporters, attorneys, and building personnel greet one another warmly. Behind me, I hear murmurs of “good luck” and “hang in there” to Diana’s parents. As the defendant’s family, we’re not entitled to well wishes; instead, we garner icy stares and sneers of disgust.

On days four and five, the State details Diana and Billy’s relationship, from the lab to the playground. This time Maggie Fleming does the honors. Since the arraignment, she’s traded her cheap skirt and flats for a big-girl suit and midsized heels. Her long Bible hair is swirled into a complicated updo. She questions Diana’s friends, relatives, roommates, and family members, all of whom testify that yes, Diana and Billy went on a few dates. Yes, she liked him—at first. Yes, he watched a lot of porn. (“Objection! Hearsay.”) Yes, he changed. Yes, he became agitated, withdrawn, and ill-tempered. Yes, yes, yes, his mood plummeted, his grades dropped, and he got kicked off the track team.