Chapters (79)
- Cover
- Dedication
- A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
- CONTENT WARNING
- 1936
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- 1937
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- EARLY 1938
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- MAX
- LEO
- MAX
- LATE 1938
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- 1939
- ELSA
- LEO
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- LEO
- ELSA
- LEO
- ELSA
- LEO
- 1940
- MAX
- ELSA
- LEO
- 1941
- ELSA
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- 1942
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- 1943
- LEO
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- 1944
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- PAPA
- 1945
- LEO
- 2021
- LEO
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
- A list of resources and further reading
- About the Author
Tim thrust his arm out in a Nazi salute. ‘Sieg Heil! I am NOT called Jerry. Zat is NOT my name,’ he said in an exaggerated German accent. The other boys laughed. ‘And if you call me zat zen I vill shoot you!’
More laughter.
I felt bile rise in my throat. Don’t you know how wrong you are? I wanted to scream at them. Do you not realize your enemy is my enemy too?
Anything I said would only encourage them, so I kept quiet and fiddled with the hem of my school jacket as I stared at the pavement.
‘Come on Jerry, we’re only kidding,’ a boy called Daniel said, nudging my arm.
‘I’m not called Jerry,’ I said again.
‘But you’re German. You’re the enemy. That’s what we call all the Germans,’ Daniel said. ‘It’s just a nickname. It’s not personal.’
Luckily the bus came along then and the boys all dispersed to separate seats as we got on board. Respite. For now.
I skulked down the aisle, alone with my thoughts.
Back in Vienna, everyone hated us because we were Jewish. Here they hated me because of my accent. Would there ever be a place where I could simply fit in and be accepted for who I was? What would these boys say if I told them the truth? I’m not German, I’m Jewish, so hate me for that instead.
I doubted it would help.
There was only one seat left on the bus. It was next to Daniel. Out of them all, he was the least awful.
‘You shouldn’t take it to heart so much,’ he said as the bus started up. He spoke quietly, so no one else would hear. ‘The more they see they’ve upset you, the more they’ll do it. Act like you don’t care. Laugh with them. Tease them back. Show that you’re one of us and you’ll be accepted before you know it.’
‘But I’m not one of you,’ I said.
‘Okay, you’ve got a bit of an accent,’ he agreed. ‘But so what?’
I shook my head. ‘It’s not that.’ I lowered my voice even further. Finally, I couldn’t hold it back any longer. ‘I’m Jewish,’ I said.
Daniel stared at me. Now I’d done it. I’d blown it with the one boy who didn’t bully me relentlessly every day. A wave of fear engulfed me. What if Daniel was a Nazi? What if they all were? What if it was all going to happen here as well, just like in Vienna, just like in Czechoslovakia and Germany? Hitler could march into England any day, and that would be it. Game over.
My palms were hot and slippy with sweat and I was about to tell Daniel I was joking when he leaned in further. ‘So am I,’ he said.