Chapters (79)
- Cover
- Dedication
- A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
- CONTENT WARNING
- 1936
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- 1937
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- EARLY 1938
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- MAX
- LEO
- MAX
- LATE 1938
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- 1939
- ELSA
- LEO
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- LEO
- ELSA
- LEO
- ELSA
- LEO
- 1940
- MAX
- ELSA
- LEO
- 1941
- ELSA
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- 1942
- MAX
- LEO
- ELSA
- 1943
- LEO
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- 1944
- LEO
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- ELSA
- MAX
- LEO
- PAPA
- 1945
- LEO
- 2021
- LEO
- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
- A list of resources and further reading
- About the Author
Max got used to his new school over the coming weeks. It couldn’t have been more different from his old school. In Vienna, school had been fun, at least it always had been when he’d been able to spend time with Elsa and Leo. He got an ache in his chest when he thought about them. He wanted to write to them, wanted to tell them all about his new life – but somehow he always came up with an excuse not to. For one thing, his father would be furious if he found out about it, and Max was keener than ever not to upset him. For another, he was so busy with his schoolwork he barely had time.
But there was another reason, too, and Max didn’t want to admit to this one – even to himself.
He was starting to feel part of school life in a way he had never done before. Every day, his number one aim was to do what his father had said on the first day.
Don’t stand out. Don’t speak out. Do exactly what your teachers tell you and copy the other boys if you are unsure.
And it was working. Max didn’t stand out. He wasn’t the one singled out for taunts and laughter. He was becoming one of the crowd, and he liked it.
He soon discovered he liked having strict rules, too. The regimented day made things straightforward.
You were given orders; you followed them. You didn’t have to think for yourself, you just had to do exactly what you were told and you would be fine. The only attention you got was praise and respect. And it was addictive. The more Max got these things, the more he craved them. And the less he thought about his old friends.
Within weeks, Max made sure he was always one of the first to stand to attention when a teacher walked into the room. He shouted his Heil Hitler! salute as loud as anyone else. He worked as hard as he had ever worked in his young life. And his reward was that he quickly became part of the fold.
That was all he wanted. It was all he had ever wanted. Only now, the fold wasn’t a gang of three friends where he felt safe from everything. Now, he was part of everything, a cog in something bigger and more powerful than himself.
And if there were times when teachers said things that made him itch under his skin, he wouldn’t show it. He knew better than that.
When they had lessons about how to be a good Nazi, or why the German race was superior to all others, Max didn’t think about the ones who might be left behind. He comforted himself in the knowledge that he was one of the lucky ones. His father was a Nazi soldier. His family was part of the superior race.