Yes, OK – obviously I’m not utterly pleased with the topic of conversation but I’m thankful to Barnaby for helping us push forward with the mealtime and for us to actually be enjoying our food while it’s still warm.

I take a breath, pick up my fork and shove in some pasta while I can. It’s very rare I eat with the kids this early. I usually wait for Nick to get back from work and eat some more refined food later on with him but as he’s away it would just be me sitting eating alone so I’ve opted to eat earlier. We haven’t had the best mealtimes, there’s always been some drama over what I’ve cooked or how I’ve sliced it, but this little moment of peace, where we’re all just eating and content seems to erase all of that. I feel the heaviness on my chest ease a little. I’m sure it would ease completely if the thought of bedtime wasn’t looming over us.

Thank heavens for the glass of wine I’ll be holding by seven-thirty as I try and clean today’s mess and get some washing on, all while catching up on some light and mind-numbing telly which doesn’t require me to think.

The calm atmosphere across the table lasts for approximately a minute before my phone starts ringing with a FaceTime request. I totally forgot Nick was going to be calling to see the kids tonight. I was hoping they’d be fed, bathed and on the sofa watching Room on the Broom by then. Wanting them both to eat a little more before it all descends into chaos again I mute the call and move it under my leg to hide it, telepathically sending a message to Nick that I’ll call him in five.

‘Who was that?’ asks Barnaby.

‘No one,’ I say, my eyes widening at him while I cock my head towards Chloe in a way that to any adult would mean ‘Not now, let’s eat while she’s being reasonable,’ but to my five-year-old brings about some confusion and a frown on his face.

‘Was it Da–’

‘Not now, Barna–’

‘Daddy? Daddy, yeeeeeah!’ screams Chloe over me. ‘Where’s Daddy?’

‘I want to speak to Daddy!’ shrieks Barnaby, his hands clapping together.

‘Yes! Call Daddy! Now, now, now, now, now!’ chimes in Chloe, her fist pounding on the table in front of her.

‘In a minute, guys. First let’s eat up our dinner and then we can give him a call after, when our tummies are nice and full.’

‘NO! Daddy now!’ Chloe shouts, flipping the entire contents of her homemade dinner on the floor in protest. It lands with a splat and my heart sinks.