‘You saw how long that was – there’s no way that belonged to me!’ she laughs, giving him an elbow.

‘Our Zaza takes care of herself,’ I remind Mike. ‘Do you not remember how long she would spend preening and pruning before dates? Me on the other hand, well, it’s been so long one pube would look like a nest. A fricking big hairy pube nest, fit for a family of ten thousand chicks.’

‘Hey!’ Mike says, looking up at a figure behind me.

‘Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt your … chat,’ I hear Scott say. ‘You must be Mike and Zaza. Victoria was telling me about you. But, as you were. Carry on. I’ll be starting in a bit.’ He shuffles off awkwardly.

Mike and Za can’t contain their laughter.

‘I think you made him blush,’ giggles Za.

‘Am I still here?’ I ask. ‘I’m pretty sure I asked the ground to swallow me up.’

‘Must’ve spat you back up again … maybe it choked on your bush,’ Zaza’s laugh booms across the room before she covers up her mouth to try and suppress it. No use.

The three of us sit there, our shoulders bouncing up and down while tears stream down our faces.

‘Hey everyone! I’m Scott, this is Kevin,’ he says loudly, as the man next to him gives a little wave. ‘We’ll be leading the Lares Trek – and Martin, Nando and Nigel will be leading the Inca Trail – but as we’re all starting as one I just want to get you up to speed with the plan over the next couple of days and our time together …’

While everyone else is hanging on his every word the three of us take some time to get a grip and act like sensible adults. This is not an easy thing to do. There’s something about having to hold in the laughter that makes the situation even more hilarious.

As a rush of exhilaration runs through me, I look at my mates through my laughter-induced tears and am so thrilled to not be the one in charge right now, to feel carefree.

18

Mike