‘Za, watching you grow our children is the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed,’ he says, placing his hands on my bump. ‘But not knowing what’s going on in there or what you’re feeling is so weird.’

‘I really feel for you,’ I say. ‘Must be awful walking around still being able to see your feet, and not knowing that the last time you did see them they were twice the size they were previously, so who knows what state they’re in now. Or is it the heartburn you feel like you’re missing out on? Or the sleepless nights when even sleeping with the world’s biggest pillow doesn’t make you anywhere near comfy? Or perhaps it’s the piles?’

‘You’re funny,’ he laughs.

‘I’m pregnant,’ I correct.

He grins like the Cheshire Cat in response, and I can’t help but smile with him.

It’s hard to believe we’re here, that we’ve made it this far. Five years ago I was pushing him away, too scared of what staying with him might lead me to lose. From there we had the most intimate and special wedding I could’ve ever wished for, with just our families and core group of mates in attendance (no invites were sent purely out of politeness). The group of kids I met in Peru really did cause the cogs to turn in my brain, or maybe my biological clock started ticking a little louder so I couldn’t ignore it any more.

We started trying for our family pretty much straight after our wedding but to no avail. Month after month after month I was greeted with a negative test or the return of my period, and each time it cut deeper and deeper. There were false hopes along the way, heartbreaking glimpses into what might’ve been before it was cruelly snatched away from us, and then nothing for a year.

Nothing at all.

No periods, nothing.

Not even a cramp to let me know something was stirring, that my body was trying to work.

Nothing.

I tried to bury my head in work and Chatter Pamper, which was building momentum fast and had become a free monthly event for dozens of women to come along to. We had a regular venue, one that we still have, and a pool of makeup artists and beauty therapists to call upon when they were available. However, distractions could only keep my heart from focusing on what it yearned to have for so long.