‘Carrie says you’re from Nottingham,’ Leia chimes in. ‘Guess what? We’re from Nottingham, too! What school did you go to?’ She peers up at me through her too-long fringe. It makes her look like Dougal from The Magic Roundabout. I want to grab it and yank it off.

‘Oh I didn’t go to school there,’ I say. ‘Besides, I’m a few years older than you two, I think.’

‘No way,’ Jared says. ‘You look like our age, if that. I guess we’re a bit weather-beaten though, right? You know, when we were in Bali, we—’

‘What’s everyone drinking? Shall I get us another?’ I walk across to the bar, trying hard not to look at Jared or Leia so that I don’t feel the urge to grab both of their stupid heads and smash them together until they break. ‘I’ll just nip to the toilet first,’ I say, and I keep walking, past the bar, and the grumpy barmaid, and through the next set of connecting doors – where I slide the window down and stick my face out into the fresh air. I close my eyes and try to slow my breathing, feeling my heart rate gradually return to normal. I haven’t felt this level of rage for a while, and I need to be careful. A moving train, several hours from its next stop, is not the place for me to lose my shit. If Carrie wants to spend the day hanging with those two losers then I’ll just have to let her.

I decide to steer clear, by walking the length of the train, seeing if there’s anything more interesting to do, but after a couple of carriages of being buffeted back and forth, I lose patience and head back.

When I get back to the table, there’s a bottle of vodka sitting on it. Four glasses, three of them half filled. There’s a plate piled high with cream-cheese blinis, and I feel a roll of hunger in my stomach.

Fuck it.

‘Oh you’re back,’ Carrie says, winking across at the couple. ‘We wondered if you’d got to the end of the train and fallen off.’ They all laugh, clearly pleased with themselves for twisting my own attempt at humour back at me.

‘Pour us some, then,’ I say, sliding into the seat next to Carrie, nudging her until she moves up closer to the window. I grab two blinis and sandwich them together and shove them into my mouth. ‘God, I am starving. When did we last eat?’