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Chapters (50)
  1. Cover
  2. VIOLET
  3. VIOLET
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. Contents
  7. Prologue
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. Epilogue
  48. Acknowledgements
  49. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  50. Copyright

I walk back to the hotel, keeping my head down, avoiding the gaze of people on their way to work, school – doing normal things. I feel like a mess, so I must surely look like one. As I pass the receptionist, she makes an uncharacteristic move.

‘Hey, lady,’ she says, ‘you still need to pay.’

I can’t deal with this right now.

‘I know. I know. I’ll sort it later, I promise.’

‘You pay by six, or manager will come,’ she says. Then she disappears back behind the counter, and the volume of the TV goes up again. Somewhere nearby, there’s the sound of furniture being dragged across the floor. A vacuum cleaner starts up.

I hurry up to the room, and see that the ‘do not disturb’ sign is still hanging on the door. Good. I hurry inside, locking the door behind me. The room still smells strongly of bleach, and I yank open the balcony doors to try and air it. As I do, the room seems to tilt around me, and the scenes from the night before flash in front of my eyes.

The blood. The balcony. Carrie screaming at me to stop.

I slide down onto the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. Staring across at the one remaining rucksack. You wouldn’t even know Carrie had been here at all. I stare at the rucksack with the contents spilling out of the top. The side pockets bulging with God knows what. And then I see it. A glimpse of silver poking out from the flat bottom pocket. Something that shouldn’t be there. Something that’s been left behind in a rush of panic.

Something that gives me a brilliant idea.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Changing the subject

Hi Laura,

Thought I’d start a new thread as my emails were getting a bit over the top. Hope I didn’t worry you too much. All is well, and I am heading off on my own soon for some calm times, maybe a retreat for a while. Not sure how much I’ll be online. Hope your arm is healing well!

Love and hugs,

Carrie xoxo

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: Changing the subject

Er … WTF?

Who are you and what have you done with Carrie?

Haha. Seriously, you sound like a different person. Have the drugs permanently mangled your brain?

And my LEG is doing well, thank you.

Seriously … I can’t imagine you at any sort of retreat, but it sounds like you might need one.

Lx

Irkutsk – Moscow

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