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Chapters (50)
  1. Cover
  2. VIOLET
  3. VIOLET
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. Contents
  7. Prologue
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. 25
  33. 26
  34. 27
  35. 28
  36. 29
  37. 30
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. Epilogue
  48. Acknowledgements
  49. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  50. Copyright

‘There’s a great dumpling shop off the Wangfujing pedestrian street. I think they have about fifty different fillings and it’s so cheap. They’re completely addictive and I recommend having at least five portions.’ I feel saliva building at the back of my mouth at the thought of this. I wish I’d stayed a little longer, now. Not got so hung up on getting the train when I did. But I was lonely. It’s easy to forget that now, with these people that I have formed a strange and intimate bond with. If I’d stayed, I wouldn’t have been in the travel centre that day, and I wouldn’t have met Carrie.

Carrie is what took my mind off Sam.

I wonder what he’s doing right now, but I don’t even bother looking as I know my phone is dead. As soon as we get back to the hostel, I’ll charge it and have a look. It’s only been a couple of days since I checked his feed – but a lot can happen in a couple of days.

I rub at my face. It feels itchy, like something is crawling on it. ‘Go to Qianmen Quanjude for Peking duck, too. They present the head on a little plate – it’s meant to be a delicacy. I had to keep it covered up with a napkin so I could eat the rest of the thing.’

‘Bloody hell, stop talking about food. I could eat a scabby horse.’ Carrie’s voice is as rough as mine feels.

‘You could’ve eaten that stupid little horse that kept throwing me off. Best thing for it.’

‘You two are revolting,’ Rory says, joining in.

‘You’re going to China now, you idiot,’ I say. ‘You can eat anything there. You probably will.’

‘I think I’m becoming a vegetarian,’ he says. ‘Well, maybe after a final burger in that Irish Bar before we leave. What do you reckon, ladies? Want to join.’

Carrie rolls her eyes at me then leans back into the window. ‘The only place I’m going tonight is bed.’

‘Game on,’ Rory says, clapping his hands.

Carrie pulls her hoodie over her face. ‘Not with you. Ever.’

Another memory hits me. People clapping. Carrie pulling her dress up over her head, spinning around, unhooking her bra. I close my eyes and lean my head against the window, waiting for more to resurface. Trying to bring it closer.

Trying to push it away.

Ulaanbaatar – Irkutsk

17