And now I am standing on a beach, facing a boy.

His face is almost dyed gold from the sun behind me. His hair is tied messily back from his face, but a few strands have escaped. One is sticking to his lips and, as I look at him, he sweeps it back.

And he’s looking. At me.

For a moment, I don’t even register.

But then

– there’s a girl on my screen.

Ghost-white.

Wide eyes that see everything.

And so

bone-achingly beautiful

that the sea seems to freeze mid-wave.

‘Alice?’

He sees me. He sees me. He sees Me.

I’m not just the watcher. And if a car comes roaring through my bedroom wall, he will see it smash through my body. I am here. I am Alive.

And I think I might be hyperventilating.

‘Hi,’ I squeak.

She’s rocking out these big

deep

breaths.

Looking around her

at walls and a window.

‘Hey, hey.’

I sit down like that might help somehow.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing!’ I say and I try to smile. I tuck my hair behind my ears and I keep looking at myself in the corner. ‘I suppose I’m just not used to being the one on camera.’

She’s nervous.

And I wonder if I should tell her that

she doesn’t have anything to be nervous about.

That it’s me. Rowan.

And, for me, seeing her face feels like

flying.

I clear my throat.

‘Would it help if I don’t look at you for a bit?’

I spin the camera round

so we’re back to seeing the same thing

from different worlds.

‘Oh –’

The picture changes and on my screen is the sea churning into the exact colour of the sky, so there’s no break between the two. It just rolls up, over us, like we’re caught in an endless wave that tunnels us – hides us away – propels us to something unknown and deep and beautiful.

But it isn’t Rowan.

‘That’s okay. You can turn me round.’

I spin her back.

‘Hi,’ I laugh. ‘Um –

so you’re here!

And that’s your face.’

I dither to a halt, kicking myself.

I laugh nervously.

‘Am I not what you were expecting?’

His eyes widen.

‘No! You’re – better.

I mean.’

Jesus Christ.

‘To be honest, I didn’t imagine you

to look like anything.

You were just this voice-person, you know?’

I bite my lip and then I remember that he can see me now and quickly stop.

‘A body-less voice-person sounds quite good.’

Imagine the places I could go without a body to hold me back.

‘No, your body is nice –

I mean –

good.’

I sigh into my palm.

‘Can you just pretend I’m not talking?’