‘Oh,’ I whisper. I’ve never seen a crowbar before, other than in films. I thought they were just made-up fantasy things – tools to get cartoon characters into treasure chests.

Charlie runs his fingers down the side of the old fire door, like that’s his treasure.

‘Come on, Ro,’ Fran says, her eyes softening. ‘We used to do this all the time, remember? Ditch registration – picnic on the top of the world?’ She waves a sandwich at him. ‘It’s been ages since we hung out. We miss you.’

I can’t breathe.

Fran looks at the fire door and sees

a wormhole to the past.

And I miss it. I do.

I miss using Charlie as a pillow.

I miss arguing with Fran over tags.

I miss being on top of the world and

not caring about a thing in it.

But I don’t see that any more.

I see …

Rowan looks up and my view tilts with him, following broken brick as it shoots up into the sky and disappears.

I suck in my breath. ‘The bell tower?’

I’ve never seen it this close up. How the paint is chipped away on the door. How the rust has settled in.

Charlie starts hammering at the brick,

chipping bits off until he makes a handhold and

pulls.

The door screams open.

‘Yes!’ Fran says, like she can’t quite believe it, running forward to help Charlie yank back the door.

Rowan backs off as the bricks around the entrance break off.

Fran laughs. ‘Charlie, you’ve ruined this door.’

Charlie pulls off the metal handle altogether,

laughing as the door swings wide

like an open jaw.

He looks at me.

‘Souvenir for you, Ro.’ Charlie throws the now useless handle to Rowan, but he doesn’t try to catch it. It skids noisily across the tarmac.

I clear my throat.

‘I’m good,’ I say.

‘Sure you guys want some alone-time, anyway.’

He turns his back on them and from behind him I hear Fran.

‘Don’t be like that! Come on, we never hang out any more. It’s the bell tower, Rowan!’

But that’s exactly it. It’s the bell tower – the place that Rowan must see every time he closes his eyes. The place he brought his mum and Jonah.

The place that nearly cost him everything.

‘You’ve changed!’ Fran calls from behind me.

I ignore her.

Walk back round the buildings to the canteen

where the noise can settle my heartbeat.

‘Are you okay?’ I whisper to him.

I open the door to the dining hall

and grab a sandwich from the side.

‘I’m fine. Sorry about that.

We used to go up there all the time.

They don’t know about what happened, so –’

I take a deep breath.

‘Let’s just get some lunch, yeah?’

He shows the canteen person a card and is waved through into the dining hall. And –