We’re watching something Cecelia would probably be calling ‘old-person porn’, about a woman who falls in love with someone she shouldn’t. And Mum is sharing far too many details about her ‘youth’ that I really don’t need to know about.

If I’m honest, I’m missing Cecelia. However much Mum tries, her ‘girl talk’ isn’t quite the same.

The credits roll and she sinks down to face me so we’re sharing the same pillow. She smells like face cream and that smells like home.

She smiles and raises her eyebrows. ‘So … how’s your spy mission with Rowan going?’

My stomach backflips. ‘Fine,’ I say quickly, sitting up so she can’t stare at me.

She pokes my ribs. ‘I thought that might get your attention.’

I shake her off. ‘No … it’s not like that. I just – the streamers are mine. I don’t like –’

‘Yes, I know you don’t like sharing all your adventures with your boring old mum.’ She sits up next to me. ‘But we had a deal, remember? You were going to be my spy on the inside. Wesley –’

My throat dries and I cough over her words so she has to stop and smack me on the back.

I take a deep breath. And pick my words carefully.

‘Yes. Rowan showed me what’s going on with him and it’s nothing bad!’ I say quickly as she opens her mouth. ‘And I think – I think I can get through to him. He just needs a bit more time.’

Mum smiles and takes my hand. ‘I have no doubt that you will. But you know he’s been missing a lot of classes recently. He was supposed to see me for a review session just the other day and he didn’t turn up. And you’ve been dropping more spoons than usual, too. So –’

I shake her off again. ‘Oh, that’s nothing. I’m not even with him that much. The other streamers are –’

‘Wondering where you’ve got to, yes,’ Mum says, loving this a little too much.

I turn my head away so she can’t see me die.

She laughs. ‘It’s okay, Alice. I’m just saying, be careful. For both of you. And, you know, if you’re going to fall in lurve with him –’

I choke. ‘I am not –’

But she’s really laughing now. Laughing more than I’ve seen her laugh in ages and ages, wrestling my hands back as I try to push her away. And then. Then she starts singing.

It’s an old Spice Girls’ song. And she’s singing it entirely to tick me off and it’s working. But her voice in my room feels like a bright white light, warm on my face.