‘What’s brought all this on, eh? You’ve been lying there looking like you were on drugs this past week – I was going to make your mum check for needles.’

I consider telling him about Rowan, but his name isn’t for Dad to hear. He’s mine. At least he was.

‘It’s Cecelia,’ I say. ‘She’s been ignoring me since she found out about the Illness.’

‘I thought we hadn’t had as many break-ins recently.’ I give him a look and he smiles. ‘I hadn’t realized your Illness was a secret.’

I shift. ‘Well, it isn’t really. But I wanted to forget it for a while, I suppose.’

‘Look, kiddo – if Cecelia is the person I think she is, she’s not going anywhere. Her mum doesn’t allow Pop-Tarts in the house, for one. And if she does run off because of a stupid thing like that, then you don’t want her around anyway.’

I nod and smile again, but I don’t quite believe him. It’s enough to convince him to leave me alone with my lunch, though, and get back to the rugby.

I lie back and close my eyes, trying to disappear into a memory. Of swimming in a lido filled with sun-warmed water, on holiday, until the lifeguard blows her whistle and –

Of being up a tree, climbing so high I feel like I might sprout wings and take off, until I slip and –

Of being on a bike, cycling fast downhill and seeing the world in bloom. But then that car –

I pick up my laptop.

Welcome back to Stream Cast, Alice

Users online:

No one is online yet – why not try making your profile public to connect to more people?

Users offline:

Connect to a channel to start watching.

No one’s online. Someone is usually always online. Day and night. Even at weekends there’s usually a window for me to peer through. But not at the moment. Perhaps they all got bored of streaming, with me not watching them as much.

Stream Cast wants me to go public. I’ve only ever used it as a private site, with my own streamers who are vetted by my parents, but I know there’s a whole other world out there filled with strangers with cameras pointed at goodness knows what. And that’s a world that’s always scared me, because you just don’t know whose life you might stumble into, what you might see, or hear, that will make the bad thoughts tumble in. But perhaps I could just take a peek. Open the window a crack …

My mouse is hovering over the ‘go live’ link when suddenly Rowan’s name pops up.

Rowan

Online for 1 minute