Hidden away in the bathroom, I take two Tylenol, washing them down with water scooped up in my hand. But even the coldest water on my face can’t wake me up, and in the fluorescent light of the restroom I look terrible, skin so pale it looks gray, eyes red-rimmed and black-shadowed. I look thinner than I did last week, when my dead sister stepped out of my dreams and into my flat. I blink and see a reflection of the door swinging shut. I didn’t notice anyone come in or out, didn’t see anyone standing next to me at the mirrors. How long did I zone out for?

Max drops me at the school and arranges to meet me later at the pub with Sophie. I take a deep breath as I walk toward Karen’s office, trying to quell the rising flutter of nerves. Last week—what I did to Rebecca Martin—it doesn’t seem real. It doesn’t seem real that it’s been less than a week since I was teaching here. One weekend at home and the rest of my life seems an eternity away.

“I’m sorry, Tess, but we’ve had to let you go. What you did, it was gross misconduct, so we have no choice other than instant dismissal.” Karen doesn’t bother with small talk and I’m glad.

“It’s okay. I knew this would happen.”

“I know you’re going through a lot with your stepmother, but there was nothing else the school could do.”

“I’m so sorry, Karen. I’m so, so sorry for what I did. I honestly…I don’t understand why I lost it like I did. I have no excuses and I totally understand you have to fire me.”

Karen sighs and leans back in her seat. “I think we’ve convinced the Martins not to go to the police with this. It’s all we can do for you, I’m afraid.”

A sliver of relief slips through me. “Thank you.”

She shakes her head. “I wish I understood what you did as well, Tess. We’ve collected your things.” She nods at a small box on the desk in front of her. “You realize you can’t come back onto school grounds after this, don’t you?”

There’s a touch of anger in her voice and I bow my head. How much trouble have I caused the school?

“I’m sorry,” I say again, picking up the box.

She follows me to the door. “I hope…I hope you sort things out.”

I feel tears burning at the back of my eyes as I walk through the empty corridors, a half-empty box in my arms.

Someone gets out of a black car in the parking lot as I walk toward the main gates.

“There you are—we’ve been waiting for you to come slinking back.”