Dead women. Living in a house of dead women. And now Julia’s going to join them. Will her things join Mum’s and Bella’s? Will her ghost join theirs, following Dad round the house when it’s empty, apart from him and me? It makes me want to run as fast as I can, back to my safe box in the city, surrounded by all those other boxes full of strangers, no trees tapping at the window, no ticking clocks, no ghosts.

But I can’t leave. After Julia dies, I can’t leave him to that.

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

The doctor tells us Julia could go anytime now. She’s been sleeping more, less lucid when she’s awake as her morphine dose increases, fed into her arm with a pump. It’s agonizing and, like Dad, I wish it could be easier for her. I wish it could be a slow and peaceful slip into death, instead of this struggle. We’re taking turns sitting with her so she’s never alone—me, Dad, Sean; Max and Lena. I don’t know if Jack has been in. He comes in and out of the house, is still staying here, but I’ve rarely seen him come in or out of her room.

It’s two in the morning and I’m sitting with her. Her breathing is so shallow I move closer and put my hand gently on her chest to check it’s still moving. Dad came in with a cup of tea a while ago but I made him go to bed, promising I’d wake him if there was any change. None of us has said the word “vigil,” but that’s what it is.

“Tess.” The whisper is so faint I don’t think it comes from Julia at first; I look round expecting to see Bella behind me. But Julia’s hand touches mine and I look back to see her eyes open.

“Do you want me to get Dad?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “No. You.”

“Don’t try to talk,” I say, smoothing her hair back from her forehead. The gray has crept farther along the length of her hair. I wish I could color it for her. I don’t want her to die without her hair glowing and red all over.

“Have to,” she says, and the words come out slurred. “Have to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“The wedding.”

My hand pauses, lifts away from her hair.

“Sorry,” she says, the word coming out on a shuddering breath.

“For what?”

“I confronted Jack at the wedding…said I had to tell the truth. Hiding it from Leo, from everyone…it was doing so much harm.”

“Tell the truth about what?”

“The accident. When Ellie died. It wasn’t me driving. It was Jack.”

“Jack? But he was…”