I sigh. “I think she got disillusioned. Decided she didn’t have the talent to make that a career. And actually, I think Bella would have made a great teacher. Better than me, anyway.”

“That’s kind of sad. How both of you gave up on your dreams.”

I shrug. “We were only kids, really. Kids change their minds day to day on what they want to do with their lives.” I smile. “And it’s never too late, is it? I’m only twenty-six, nothing’s set in stone.”

“Thinking of ditching the teaching and running off to dig borders for a living?”

Does he have to sound so patronizing?

“Why not?” I say it lightly. “I’m sure there are courses I could do. Or maybe I’ll follow Bella’s other path and take some photography classes.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “God, she used to be a pain with that camera of hers, didn’t she? Always sneaking up and taking candid shots of us all.” He glances at me. “I’d love to see those photos again, wouldn’t you? I wonder what happened to her camera.”

I open my mouth to tell him Sean found it, that it’s currently shoved in a cupboard in my childhood home waiting for me to develop the film, but he hasn’t finished.

“She was taking photos a couple of days before the wedding, I remember,” he says. “She took a couple of…embarrassing ones I didn’t want shown around.” The frown is back on his face.

I’d forgotten about the camera in the last couple of days. I must get that film developed. I bite my lip. What could possibly be so embarrassing that Max still remembers it now?

“I never found it after she died,” I say. Not strictly a lie. I’m not sure why I’m keeping it quiet that Sean has found the camera—I think I just want to see these embarrassing photos for myself before sharing. With anyone.

We stop for coffee and I have to lean against the car for a moment as we get out. The sun’s glare hurts my eyes, needles of pain digging in, getting inside my head. It’s like the world’s worst hangover.

“Tess? You okay?”

“Sorry. I’m…not sleeping at the moment. Being back in the village and all the worry about Julia, you know?”

He touches my arm. “Come on, let’s get you some coffee.”

“You go on and get them; I’m going to splash some cold water on my face.”